Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review: No Spoilers

By: 14th Lord

First I have to say, who'd of known Abraham Lincoln could of made such an epic action hero? Alas, before I into discussing the movie, let me highly recommend this movie to everyone who enjoys a good action flick.

Starting off, lets talk about the whole premise of the movie, Abraham Lincoln becomes /is / was a vampire hunter. How the fuck does it get better than that? Of course this does require some suspension of disbelief, and enjoyment of REAL vampires, not those sparklewusses from vampire stories these days. These vampires are blood thirsty monsters, and they aren't pretty. Once the situation becomes confrontational, they show their true form that, well, lets just say is not something you want to embrace and have a love story with. They look and act vicious, showing often an enjoyment in manipulating, tricking, maiming and killing others. They're intelligent and vicious hunters, that blend in perfectly with society, with their only true weakness being silver.

The pacing of the story is something else that MUST be addressed. The movie is excessively stylized, and filled with fast paced action scenes that the common day viewer is expecting, with movies such as kick-ass, transformers, star trek, and sherlock have become notable for. Unlike Transformers though, despite being action packed, you at no point in the movie ever become lost in the fighting, wondering who's doing what to who in the fight as generic canon fodder is blown away one by one. The biggest difference to these movies though is how this movie takes the fast paced action, and carries it over to the movies 'down time' where people are giving out exposition and monologue. The entire movie comes off as one massive trailer that just keeps you sucked in, and when you realize that this is the actual movie, you're just blown away. Despite the fast paced style of the movie, the story does not take a back seat, but instead, keeps you fully engrossed, making it easy to stay up to date and know what's going on.

How cheesy is it? 
I thought I'd make a point to discuss the cheese factor of the movie, especially with the premise being Abraham Lincoln, being a Vampire hunter. Surprisingly enough, the cheesiness is kept to a minimal, despite the movie not taking itself extra seriously, yet at the same time, maintaining serious and impacting tones. Whereas MIB3 just made the movie as cheesy as a cheese sandwich on cheesebread with cheezewiz for dip, and cheezits at the side, this movie takes scenes cheesy scenes and makes them facepalming epic, if that even makes sense. The creators of MIB3 should take notes from this movie on how to avoid all the cheese.

Final question most have is, how historically accurate is this? It's not of course you shit head. Though, I found it excessively amusing how the movie actually does take things that happened in Abraham Lincolns life, and gives it a far more sinister, vampire related twist to it.

Characters: 9/10
The cast of the movie was very memorable, then again, how difficult is it to make Abraham Lincoln not memorable? Especially when he's a vampire hunter? All the characters seemed to have thei rown story and history, including some of the vampires who while are evil fuckers, aren't just there to be killed like a zombie in a zombie apocalypse movie. The characters are fleshed out, and the vampires tend to have their own quirks to their sadism.
Plot: 7/10
While the plot is a bit generic in the terms of, vampire hunter kills vampires, with a twist here and there, it is surprisingly fresh, and surprisingly deep for something named Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
 Fun Factor: 10/10
Imagine the most awesome action packed movie trailer that gave you the movies storyline. Now imagine that going on for 2 hours. Then imagine the joy you'll have with friends, thinking of other historical figures that would make awesome vampire hunters, like Ghandi. Do be prepared to face palm at moments when the movie becomes historical, but to me, it was a good face palm.
Directing & Casting: 9/10
While I never seen any of he cast in other movies, they all seemed to bring their all to the tables, making good casting choices. Great stylized camera cuts, and the makeup and cgi was pretty good, even if you could tell the horses were obviously not real.
 Overall: 9/10
This movie I found to be a must see, I highly recommend everyone to watch it, though I do recommend away from the 3D as the effects weren't that noticeable after awhile, though then again, I never been much of a fan of 3D.

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