DBZ: Battle of Gods Review

By: 14thLord

Release: 2013
Genre: Action, Super Powers, Comedy

It's been 17 years since the last Dragon Ball movie came out. Not counting certain specials, such as Episode of Bardock, Goku and His Friends return, etc. Was it worth the wait? More or less.

Lets get this started with the Dragon Ball Z / GT franchise have never been about... well, continuity, story, plot, depth, etc. Its always been at its core a series about light hearted action and being of immense super powers. If you'd argue this, literally every movie and special breaks the canon and cannot of happened based on the series. Even in the series canon is often brought up and forgotten at moments notices. So to be clear, the story isn't anything amazing, but it's nothing poor if you're into Dragon Ball Z.

Lets not bring up math and how Trunks and Goten should be in their teens by this point. Honestly, it doesn't matter too much. The story itself is simple. Bills, the current God of Destruction has awoken after a 15 year nap in a comedic way, at once showing that the new Dragon Ball Z material will be making its return back to more comedic and fun times of the original series.

Again we meet wonky looking aliens in the new drawing style that looks quite foreign to the old, which was used sparingly in the Dragon Ball Kai relaunch. Filler is near non-esitant as charging for power is kept to a minimal, and the focus is more on fun, so scenes that add nothing to the story fits quite well. Even the name Bills isn't the most serious name for a God of Destruction, and as you learn his character, he becomes increasingly comical despite the threat he presents.

Overall, Dragon Ball Battle of the Gods is a must watch. Unfortunately due to legal issues revolving around Fox, it may be awhile before we see Funimation dubbing this movie. On the bright side, projections are looking to say that this movie will be released sometime 2014, so stay tuned!

If you must know the overall plot, it follows Bills the legendary God of Destruction on his search for a threat to him. This threat was told of him by a oracle, and during his latest slumber he dreamed of it. Something called a Super Saiyan God. If you're familiar with DBZ and GT, you can instantly tell this is something new, never before seen. Of course the Saiyan race is all but gone, with all the remnants of it (besides Tarble) moving to earth. Oh and Goku who for some reason is just relaxing on King Kai's planet, which I thought was destroyed during the Cell Games. Alas, I'll just assume it's been either brought back in show or by some other means.

Characters: 7/10
Overall, all the characters act in character for themselves. Unlike all the other movies though, the other characters seem to get more of a highlight even if they're quickly forgotten. Still, the new current cast of characters all play a part, with a big thumbs up pointed at Vegeta's way. This is the first time that Goku won a battle where it felt like others actually mattered, even if they (as always) couldn't even weaken the villain for him.

Plot: 5/10
As mentioned, Dragon Ball Z has never been plot heavy. Yes there's a plot and it's not senseless, it takes us where we need to go. Even if it recons and forgets things here and there.

Fun Factor: 9/10
I have to say that this is where the movie shined its best. The feel of the movie was quite fun, humorous, and I never once got bored or felt the need to pull out a stop watch and time how long a fight took or how long it took to power up.

Music & Art: 8/10
You may remember the new art direction from the previous specials. While it's different than the style we're used to, it adds overall to the tone of the movie. The music itself isn't anything to speak of in particular.

English Dubbing: ---
This will be added when the movie is officially dubbed (and I've seen it).

Overall: 7/10
This movie gets a thumb up for watchable, and a +2 for longtime fans of the show. This movie stays true to the series and is just so much more fun than any of the older more serious movies.

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Dictator was beyond horrible (No Spoilers)

By: 14th Lord



Alright, lets make this 2 cents quick and dirty. Dictator was directed by Larry Charles who we know from his extensive career directing movies such as.... uh.... Well.... he did do Borat. Not that I watched that. I had to do some research to discover his extensive profile directing pretty much nothing. His career started writing for Seinfeld, and started directing with Masked and Anonymous. Never heard of it either, so dont worry, you're not alone. Unless you had heard of it, then yes, you are indeed alone.

Taking a quick glance at his movie careers, Larry Charles seems infatuated by directing for over the top absurd movies. Just looking at the cover of Religulous and its cover poster involving monkeys in religious attire, one can quickly assume Dictator is well in his safe zone.



With a $65 million dollar budget, it's miraculous to me that not only did this movie break even, but it went on to earn over $177 million. Upon seeing the trailer in the theater when I was out to see another movie, I found my palm securely fastened to my face over how absurd this movie appeared. Upon first impressions, this movie appeared to be racist, sexist, over the top terrible humor. Finally after months of avoiding it, I at last took the moment to watch this train wreck of a movie and discovered my first impressions were completely correct.

No stereotype is spared, no summer comedy trope goes unused, and no racist and sexist remark goes unmade. That is the beauty of Dictator. It takes your average summer comedy movie where a bastard of a person meets new friends, realizes those he's done wrong in the past, and learns to be a better person himself before losing it all. Typical movie, well, it would be if it wasn't based on the Dictator of a african country known as Wadiya threatening nuclear holocaust. Every racist sterotype of middle easterners is taken and exaggerated a hundred folds. Building up this stereotype, the writer then follows up by of course, stripping him of his position and leaving him on the streets of New York City, where he can learn his wrong doings and become a better man while getting together with the obligatory girl love interest.

Haffaz Aladeen, the Dictator, is played by Sacha Baron Cohen, a British actor who you might know from Borat where he played the titular Borat, or Sweeney Todd where he was the self proclaimed “King of the Barbers”. Besides Sacha Cohen is Anna Faris who plays the movies obligatory love interest, Zoey. Zoey is every stereotype of the organic modern hippie rolled together, including the funny smells and lack of armpit shaving while somehow managing a organic produce store. Badly.



The comedy of this movie derives primary from satiring both politically correct and incorrect stereotypes, never once taking itself too seriously except when it's making fun of other movies for taking such scenes seriously. One instant for example comes when a woman spontaniously drops down into labor where our “hero” comes and delivers the baby in a manner most unhelpful, which involves him accidentally reaching into the wrong hole for the baby. Repeatedly. Of course this touching scene brings the two love interest together, while the woman in labor yells at the two to enjoy the moment some other time.

Characters: 5/10
The characters beauty of this movie is the characters existing as every politically incorrect stereotype. While this by no means make ANY of the characters a good character, let alone a likable character, it served the purpose of the movie without becoming distracting in itself.

Plot: 5/10
Take summer comedy movie and make it the most racist politically incorrect story about a Dictator. That pretty much sums up this plot. It's typical, and granted it's satirizing the genre, doesn't separate it from being in fact apart of the genre.

Fun Factor: 9/10
This can go either way. If you can enjoy racist and politically incorrect humor as long as it's satire, then you'll love this movie. Otherwise, expect to leave the box office in heavy rage.

Directing & Casting: 9/10
Everyone was well cast, and a movie of this tongue in cheek satire could of gone either way. To me, I felt it very carefully threaded the line of being racist and being satire, horridly, which oddly enough was perfect for this type of movie. Had this movie actually attempted going through with the trope of a jerk reaching redemption or actually tried making our protagonist with any shred of redemption, my opinion on this movie could easily be in the opposite end.

Overall: 7/10
This movie is bad. It looks as bad as the trailers and even worse. If you can enjoy this type of humor then it has my recommendation. While it's nothing particularly amazing, it's not too long, standing at only a hour and a half, while being enjoyable dumb fun.



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007: Skyfall was a Must See (No Spoilers)

By: 14th Lord

Ah the newest James Bond movie, Skyfall, starring the newest Bond, portrayed by Daniel Craig. Since Casino Royal, we've only had one previous movie to get to know this bond, but there are a few key notes we've come to learn. For starters, this Bond relies a lot less on gizmos and gadgets, instead opting for brute force. Also he has a mild habit of killing all his sources of information before he can actually get any information from them. I remember back in the beginning of Casino Royal where we see James Bond chasing after a suspect whom was able to do crazy acrobatic moves to escape Bond over a ventilation shaft, only to have Bond smash his way through the wall, running full speed.

Getting to Skyfall, we're exposed to another chase scene, this time bond chasing a culprit who apparently stole a top secret hard drive containing the identities of undercover agents. The chase goes from bad to worse, with it ending up on a train, with Bond tearing apart the train with a construction vehicle that was conveniently on board. He's shot and injured ,but continues on without issue, coming into hand to hand struggle with the culprit. All the while M is observing the situation while in contact with another agent, Eve, a sniper. With time running out before the agent loses the two in a tunnel, M gives the order to shoot. Eve protests at first as she could only get Bond in her sights, but concedes and takes the shot.

Agent Down.

This isn't spoilers as this takes the course of the first 10 minutes of the movie before the title crawl, and any trailer would of told far more. As I'm hoping ot keep this free, lets just sum up my views on the characters and plot.

MI6 is bombed, and M is being framed, so it's Bond's job to protect her, find who's responsible, and neutralize the threat. All the while, he meets a girl named Severine who works as a double agent for the mysterious Silva. Bond, through a scene that involves him being thrown into a pit with beasts that're trying to take a bite out of him, riding a boat, and getting 'interrogated' by Silva himself.

Meeting the new Q, or Quarter Master, we only get two gadgets, a mini distress radio to alert MI6 to jobs position upon activation, and a gun coded to only work to his palm print. Using the mobile radio, he alerts MI6 who come to his rescue.

During this movie, we're told that Silva is basically a god thanks to being a super elite hacker. He triggers the explosion in MI6's headquarters through hacking! An ongoing theme with modern movies, where hacking can pretty much do anything, along with it being super action intense and interesting. While this was bothersome, you could look pass it thanks to good story telling.

One thing that didn't sit well with me though was the constant griping throughout the movie that Bond was getting old, washed up, and should retire young before crashing and burning. We only just got to know Daniel Craig, this being the 3rd movie we're seeing him in, in a timeline that back in Casino Royal we saw being rebooted with him freshly made into 007. Maybe another movie or two, or a better job at conveying a time gap and many more jobs since the last movie might of helped, but as it was, it came off awkward.

Now before anyone mentions it, I know it was the 50th.

The characters were actually alluding to the Franchise itself rather than James Bond the character. 50 years of James Bond, and this movie was a worthy addition to the series. At last we have a villain that's recognizable, something we've been lacking, at least in my opinion, since Goldeneye.

With the recent Daniel Craig movies, many fans seem to feel its been becoming less and less of a James Bond movie with each new addition, a issue that Skyfall fixed. Crammed in the two hour time frame is reference after reference to classic Bond, all the way back from the Connery days.

Characters: 9/10
In this movie we meet another agent of MI6, Eve, who has earned herself an memorable roll. She has a flirtatious relationship with Bond, but unlike many of the past Bond girls, never does anything more than just that. M is played straight. We learn a lot about her, giving depth to the character never seen before, without ever having her break down or give us exposition of her passed. We learn from her actions, despite still leaving knowing little of her. Silva in particular earns his place firmly in one of the few Bond villains that was truly memorable. He starts off odd and rich looking, but the more we learn, the more demented and disturbed we come to realize he is.

Plot: 9/10
Not much I can really say that I haven't already, without providing spoilers. The movie does what it wants, and conveys the points it wants very well. While practically thinking about it, you can find plot holes and impossibilities, but never does the movie hypocrite anything it establishes, a accomplishment few movies are capable of achieving.

Fun Factor: 9/10
This movie was very fun. Great action scenes, great dialogue, fun characters and some comedic relief moments that do not deter the story or mood. I never felt the time drag on while watching this beast of a movie. While you can knit pick this movie's less extravagant in its scenes, and make fun of it ending on a farm, this movie never dragged on.

Directing & Casting: 10/10
All the actors performed their roles in this movie exceptionally, nothing more needs to be said. At no point did a character, actor, pacing or angle in this movie ever aggravate me.

Overall: 10/10
Bonds finest hour in my opinion, or damn close to it. For the longest time, Goldeneye held its place as my favorite Bond movie, but Skyfall has proved to be a worthy adversary to that title. Only time will tell which will become thee Bond movie to watch during a quiet boring night, someday in the future.

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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review: No Spoilers

By: 14th Lord

First I have to say, who'd of known Abraham Lincoln could of made such an epic action hero? Alas, before I into discussing the movie, let me highly recommend this movie to everyone who enjoys a good action flick.

Starting off, lets talk about the whole premise of the movie, Abraham Lincoln becomes /is / was a vampire hunter. How the fuck does it get better than that? Of course this does require some suspension of disbelief, and enjoyment of REAL vampires, not those sparklewusses from vampire stories these days. These vampires are blood thirsty monsters, and they aren't pretty. Once the situation becomes confrontational, they show their true form that, well, lets just say is not something you want to embrace and have a love story with. They look and act vicious, showing often an enjoyment in manipulating, tricking, maiming and killing others. They're intelligent and vicious hunters, that blend in perfectly with society, with their only true weakness being silver.

The pacing of the story is something else that MUST be addressed. The movie is excessively stylized, and filled with fast paced action scenes that the common day viewer is expecting, with movies such as kick-ass, transformers, star trek, and sherlock have become notable for. Unlike Transformers though, despite being action packed, you at no point in the movie ever become lost in the fighting, wondering who's doing what to who in the fight as generic canon fodder is blown away one by one. The biggest difference to these movies though is how this movie takes the fast paced action, and carries it over to the movies 'down time' where people are giving out exposition and monologue. The entire movie comes off as one massive trailer that just keeps you sucked in, and when you realize that this is the actual movie, you're just blown away. Despite the fast paced style of the movie, the story does not take a back seat, but instead, keeps you fully engrossed, making it easy to stay up to date and know what's going on.

How cheesy is it? 
I thought I'd make a point to discuss the cheese factor of the movie, especially with the premise being Abraham Lincoln, being a Vampire hunter. Surprisingly enough, the cheesiness is kept to a minimal, despite the movie not taking itself extra seriously, yet at the same time, maintaining serious and impacting tones. Whereas MIB3 just made the movie as cheesy as a cheese sandwich on cheesebread with cheezewiz for dip, and cheezits at the side, this movie takes scenes cheesy scenes and makes them facepalming epic, if that even makes sense. The creators of MIB3 should take notes from this movie on how to avoid all the cheese.

Final question most have is, how historically accurate is this? It's not of course you shit head. Though, I found it excessively amusing how the movie actually does take things that happened in Abraham Lincolns life, and gives it a far more sinister, vampire related twist to it.

Characters: 9/10
The cast of the movie was very memorable, then again, how difficult is it to make Abraham Lincoln not memorable? Especially when he's a vampire hunter? All the characters seemed to have thei rown story and history, including some of the vampires who while are evil fuckers, aren't just there to be killed like a zombie in a zombie apocalypse movie. The characters are fleshed out, and the vampires tend to have their own quirks to their sadism.
Plot: 7/10
While the plot is a bit generic in the terms of, vampire hunter kills vampires, with a twist here and there, it is surprisingly fresh, and surprisingly deep for something named Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
 Fun Factor: 10/10
Imagine the most awesome action packed movie trailer that gave you the movies storyline. Now imagine that going on for 2 hours. Then imagine the joy you'll have with friends, thinking of other historical figures that would make awesome vampire hunters, like Ghandi. Do be prepared to face palm at moments when the movie becomes historical, but to me, it was a good face palm.
Directing & Casting: 9/10
While I never seen any of he cast in other movies, they all seemed to bring their all to the tables, making good casting choices. Great stylized camera cuts, and the makeup and cgi was pretty good, even if you could tell the horses were obviously not real.
 Overall: 9/10
This movie I found to be a must see, I highly recommend everyone to watch it, though I do recommend away from the 3D as the effects weren't that noticeable after awhile, though then again, I never been much of a fan of 3D.


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Ghostbusters 2 that I loved. (No Spoilers)

Top Ten Movies Everyone Hated
10. Ghostbusters 2
That I loved.

I thought I'd start a list of 10 movies I loved, that everyone else seems to have hated, including movies that is either universally agreed to be bad, movies that barely broke even, and movies that was made at a huge loss. Alas, Ghostbusters 2 is a movie of the former, while it was a financial success, it's always compared poorly, or outright panned when discussing the original Ghostbusters movie, but why is this?

Ghostbusters 2 starts out with Dana, the heroine-ish character from the last movie making a return, this time, with a baby! Things quickly go downhill as her baby runs away with its carriage, before stopping right in the middle of New York City traffic, barely missing a head on collision with a bus. Of course, we all immediately know something supernatural is afoot, and queue the intro song.

As the movie goes on we learn more about the new mysterious painting that has turned up in Dana's workplace, as the Ghostbusters investigates the events, and Venkman, played by the ever so wonderful Bill Murray, pines over Dana. We also discover after rescuing the world from a ghostly invasion at the end of the last movie, that the Ghostbusters were labeled as a fraud, and pretty much sued by everyone possible, no longer allowed to practice ghost busting. Only in America. Gotta love it.

This doesn't last long, as the ghostbusters discover the cause of Dana's baby carriage suddenly bolting into the middle of traffic on its own. Deep underground where the carriage had suddenly stopped is a massive tunnel is a tunnel, flowing with a lake of slime.

As the movie goes one, we learn more and more of the connection between the river of slime and Vego, the painting brought into Dana's place of work, as ghosts make their return, bringing the need and return of the Ghostbusters.

Characters: 10/10
It's a show of quality when a movie can show you who a character is, and even have an antagonist a likable character. Meanwhile the big bad is well developed, with a history brought up as the Ghostbusters search for info on the mysterious new painting in the museum Dana works at. Every character in the movie was a joy to watch, and quite memorable, even characters that only appeared for less than a minute.

Plot: 7/10
While there are a few plot holes here and there, nothing major enough to effect the overall enjoyment of the movie or distract the viewer. The movie does well to show the audience the situations, rather than tell the occurrence. Granted the movies plot wasn't as "epic" as Ghostbusters 1, I found it just as enjoyable.

Fun Factor: 9/10
Unlike movies made now days, little effort is made to have the movie with blood pumping action. Alas, the movie had tons of witty moments of humor, joyful characters that you just enjoy seeing going on with their lives, and great moments of actions when it comes. Also, it's rare to see the Statue of Libery being moved around New York City on a Nintendo controller.

Directing & Casting: 9/10
Perfect Cast, great camera works, though a few very noticeable production errors, the effects were all seamless and simply amazing.

Overall: 9/10
This movie overall is a classic and must watch in my opinion. It's rare that I'll see a movie and feel that anyone could enjoy it. What keeps it from being a perfect score is the single layer of plot, that provides little fodder for one to hypothesis or discuss at later points and time.

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Sucker Punch was a Enjoyable Movie (SPOILER WARNING!)

Deep, clever, and quite videogame-esq, Sucker Punch has earned a place in my heart and favor. Earning $90million in the box office, this piece proved quite underrated as it barely earned over the budget to make the movie in the first place. While I avoided reading any reviews until after viewing the movie, the critics all around dead panned this amazing movie unjustly. Apparently a common critique is it's misogynist if the critic viewing it, finds anyone of the female cast to be "sexy", and as it has undertones of abuse and rape towards the female sex, it cannot have anything to do with female empowerment. I greatly disagree.

With this movie, a key word will come up often, interpretation. Due to the abstract nature of the movie, where it implies what's happening rather than telling the audience what's happening, I cannot accurately sum up the story or what happens, since it's very open to interpretation, and you taking the movie in, and figuring out the actions and true events that transpires.

First let's discuss about the premise of the movie. Baby-doll is a girl with an abusive alcoholic step-father who married her mother for money, which is immediately apparent in the first scene. She's taken to a mental institute where she awaits an illegal lobotomy to cover up the true circumstances of her mother and sisters deaths. As they strap Baby-doll down to the chair and begin the procedure, the movie begins, in a state of her mind, so what's truly going on becomes extremely abstract, as we're seeing what happens in a way Baby-doll dramatizes it in her minds escape.

What's it to be videogame-esq might you ask? Baby-dolls mind consists of three layers. The real world and what's truly occurring, which we rarely ever see. The brothel world which Baby-doll conjures up in place of an asylum, and plays out as an escape to the real world as it's too harsh to cope with, and at last, the fantasy world where Baby-doll and her friends have power. In this fantasy world, scenes play out as if levels from a video game. Baby-doll is given tasks and goals, for missions she must accomplish, which takes her a step further in the achieving the final mission, her escape. In this world, she fights hoards of bosses and canon-fodder minions in intense action scenes, primarily in what appears to be World War 1 meets bad ass steampunk and future-tech. Oh and zombie Germans (Nazi's?) These scenes are very fun and action oriented, blending in CGI with live action, in a way very similar to 300, or Immortals have.

Baby-doll, Blondie, Sweet Pea, Amber, Rocket.

Moving along to the characterization in the movie, the characters are split into 3 levels, as Baby-doll sees them. The real world and what they're like, which isn't barely touched, the brothel world where the most true to their personalities come to light, and the fantasy world where Baby-doll sees them in the most empowered way possible. Of the cast, I felt Baby-Doll, Sweet Pea, and rocket stood out most, in no way does that diminish Blondie's and Amber's value to the overall story. All these girls are dressed up in ways one would expect of a Brothel / Dance studio, and in the fantasy world, dress as one would often see girls dressed up in video games. The difference though from video games, where Baby-doll is dressed in her iconic Japanese school girl uniform, is that there's no camera angles that sexualizes the characters, by showing off their knockers, ass, or curves, often seen in movies and games these days.

If any of this has interested you, go watch the movie, period. This movie is very abstract and up for personal interpretation of what's going on, and reading or listening to any reviews analyzing it in advanced could alter what your interpretation is.

With analysis of what it is to be video-game esq, characters, and premise of Sucker Punch, that leaves the overall story of the movie, and how I personally interpreted the actions and consequences throughout the movie as it plays out into Baby-dolls head until the climax.

With Baby-doll taken to be lobotomized, the first shocker is revealed as the Doctor brings the hammer back to begin the lobotomy. As he begins to the procedure, it's suddenly stopped, as the girl in the seat protests to it and demands to be swiftly set free. It's no longer Baby-doll in the chair, but Sweetpea, and no longer are they in the surgeons room, but on a stage, with an all girl cast on the scene carrying out the play. Baby-doll is led into this room where she meets the cast, and a key figure, Dr. Gorski, who in her mind is the mentor, teacher, motherly figure in the scenario she conjured up of a brothel. I find it fascinating that Baby-doll chooses to conjure the image of a brothel for her time in the mental asylum, as that, and what's to come, was more favorable to think of than the true occurrences in the hospital, with being sold to a "high roller" rather than a lobotomy awaiting her after the 5 day period.

As the story begins we meet the first scene in the movie where Rocket, working in the kitchen, notices candy in the pantry, where she pockets it before being attacked by the cook. Pinning her, it's unsure whether or not the cook is merely trying to apprehend her, or actually attempting to physically assault her, but alas, the ordeal ends with Baby-doll coming to her rescue, apprehending the knife the cook kept in his belt.

Making their leave, Baby-doll quickly drops the knife and the head to their first dance lesson, where Gorski isn't pleased with Sweet Pea's performance. With Gorski's guidance, Baby-doll enters the stage where she begins her first "dance", quickly bringing her to her fantasy world for the first time, that of a snowy temple, and the first encounter with the unnamed wise-man.

With some prodding, Baby-doll reveals that she's looking for a way out, freedom. The wise man sends her out on her quest for five objects. A map, fire, a key, and a knife, the fifth item, unknown. Coincidentally enough, these 4 items are things Baby-doll noticed on her way into the mental institute in the first place.

With the wiseman giving out his wisdom, he sends Baby-doll out of his temple, but not before telling her to defend herself. Outside are 3 giant demonic samurai warriors, all literally 3-4 times her size. Coming u to her, the first warrior, she begins to draw her blade hesitantly, but not before being dealt a Sucker Punch by the samurai through the temple doors. Finally getting her momentum, baby-doll incapacitates the first Demon samurai before dealing the death blow, bringing the next Samurai to her.

Holding a fucking Gatling Gun. Awesome.

Baby-doll while hesitant at first, once she began defending herself, to fight, she toppled all 3 of the obstacles in her way, before snapping back into brothel reality, where everyone around her cheers. Reminder, she snapped into her fantasy reality when it came time for her to dance.

When in private, Baby-doll reveals her plan to escape. Rocket, the most eager one to escape, is put down quickly by Sweet Pea, but is unable to convince Rocket away from it. It is quickly established here Sweet Pea and Rocket are related. Baby-doll reveals her plan to get 4 items before the "High Roller" arrives in 3 days. A map to find the exits, a lighter to start a fire, a key to open the doors, and a knife to defend themselves if caught. Sweet Pea, still opposed, is convinced to join in with everyone else on board.

With the plan in motion, Sweet Pea gets Blue (the head of the Asylum and the brothel) to drop in Baby-dolls next dance, which gets him excitedly over while she captures map. Queue Pseudo WW1 involving enemy trenches, soldiers in gas masks,and zombie Germans.

Seriously, Steam Punk Zombie hoard + ww1 badassness. Also take note, this obviously takes place at a far more future timeline than the last fantasy did.

Back to the brothel, the dance really excited Blue, leading to the mayor to come, who always has a ligher as he's a chronic cigar smoker. Queue next fantasy, this time, Amber's turn. Amber is fearful, but makes go with the plan.

There be Dragons.

After Blue comes backstage, onto the girls planning something, Blondie is extremely shaken up. Breaking down, she goes to Gordski and betraying the girls.

The next dance brings Baby-doll into a future-tech world, where they attempt to defuse a bomb on a train before it reaches a city and explodes. This time against an android swarm! As the girls board the train, everything goes well, but then a moment of revelation comes as they believe they achieved victory. The bomb what was thought deactivated, becomes active, and Baby-doll is back to the brothel world. The cook who Baby-doll was distracting with her dance, notices Sweet Pea attempting to take a knife from him, and goes to stab Rocket.

Rocket's mortally wounded to protect Sweet Pea, but alas Blue comes in and makes the remaining girls go on Stage, where the "High Roller" is waiting. As the girls leave, Sweet Pea is locked up. As the girls prepare for the show, Blue comes in, knowing the girls plan. He guns down Amber and Blondie, leaving the grieving Gordski and Baby-doll, but not for long as he gets everyone to leave, but Baby-doll. He assaults Baby-doll, bringing her to stab him in the shoulder with the knife she managed to get away from the cook, and stealing the key from his neck. Four objects acquired.

Freeing Sweet Pea, the two make their escape, with the fire setting off the alarms, but then as they get outside one final reveal comes. the front gate is blocked by a crowd where Baby-doll realizes the final object, herself. Sacrificing herself to distract everyone, Sweet Pea escapes the Brothel. Snap back to reality, the Doctor hammers the nail into Baby-doll. The lobotomy was completed.

The Lobotomist inquires Gordski on some information on Baby-doll, revealing that in the week she's been there, she started a fire, stabbed a orderly, and helped another patient to escape.

This is where every viewer makes their own interpretation of the story of the movie. Myself, I wonder on the authenticity of the other girls. While we see Sweet Pea again at the end, never did we see the other girls or hear mention the deaths or occurences of the other girls. While many I hear believe perhaps Amber, Rocket and Blondie were first in line to face the lobotomy, I believe they never existed and were part of Sweet Pea and Baby-doll.

Characters: 8/10
All the characters, despite only a couple ever properly being named, are immediately recognizable for their personality. One wonders a lot about them, and their history, only Sweet Pea, Rocket, and Baby-doll getting background story. Despite this, I felt the way they showed off the girls actions, said more about their characters than any background story could.
Fun Factor: 9/10
I just adore the whole partial cgi fantasy world genre that 300 seems to have sparked the birth of. The action packed fantasy were all amazing, I especially adored the WW1 steampunk zombie Germans, followed by the face smacking future city. I would definitely watch this movie again and again for fun, something rare for me, as usually I cannot bring myself to watching the same movie or show twice.
Directing & Casting: 9/10
First off, amazing direction, great camera working. The girls while dressed in a generic "sexy" fashion, at no point did I feel the movie was trying to get the viewer off on it, as no angles aimed directly at an ass or rack was thrown in, despite the skimpy outfits the gorgeous girls would sometimes wear. At the same time the angles and pacing of the action scenes threw me away. In the end, my only complaint was Baby-doll, who I unfortunately, couldn't get over the wig she wore. I just wish they could of either casted someone with natural blond hair to style in such a way. Past a few nit picks here and there, top performance, and top directing.
Overall: 9/10
While there's a few things keeping this movie down, it filled my quota in everything I want from a movie. Something fun to watch and aesthetically pleasing, and catering to the higher mind, leaving hours of debate, discussion, and pondering to come after viewing the movie. Thankfully, it's not on inconsistency and plot holes, but on the metaphors, symbolism, and psychology of the movie. A true underrated piece and a must watch.

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Transformers Dark of the Moon (Spoiler Warning!)

By: 14th Lord

This movie was just bad. it was so bad that it was bad bad. It was take a drill to the head bad. It was so bad that I was in so much physical pain from watching the first hour of the movie that I had to get up, stop the movie, and just take a break for a few hours from it. And people say this is BETTER than Transformers Revenge of the Fallen?! NO. JUST NO. Bad Monkey, bad!

First off, I have to say I hate movies with long titles. Even the abbreviation of these movies are long. T:ROTF and T:DOTM. I can understand the temptation to make longer titles, but come on, keep it down! It's just so needlessly long, especially when the whole "Dark of the Moon" aspect is such a minor and pointless note. How about Transformers Dark Side? That would have a double meaning, to the moon and the revelations, which by the way in itself, MAKES NO SENSE.

I really don't want to remember this movie too much so I'm going to just skim it. Beware of spoilers ahead.

We start off seeing Shia LaBeouf playing a loud, obnoxious, spoiled and shallow bastard of a human being, named Sam. This is where I'm curious where it was decided to make this character as LOUD and OBNOXIOUS as possible, and focus on him for the FIRST FUCKING HOUR OF THE MOVIE. The First hour was 90% Sam and his hot blond bimbo of a girlfriend and their non-existing pretentious relationship.

Let me focus on his girlfriend Carly Spencer, played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. First off, I hated the actresses accent. I hated her appearance. I hated her role. I hate her lines. I hated her. There was NOTHING redeeming about her as a actor or a character, and she just made me pine for Megan Fox. I don't know if it's the acting or the directing that led to this, but Megan Fox's character, while being a generic bitch, has a sparky attitude, and seemed very strong, independent, and likable. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who's name by the way I freaking hate, just screamed "LIKE ME LIKE ME" all through out the movie, coming off as if everyone's supposed to find her gorgeous and likable, but failed so hard at it. I just hated everything about the character and actress, which is surprising since I usually NEVER dislike a character from hating a character they play.

So basically the first hour of the movie is Shia LaBeouf acting as a obnoxious, rude, loudmouth bastard for the first movie, being upset he's not instantly being hired for top paying jobs, fresh out of college, for his amazing major in accounting. Really. This is honestly the dilemma for the first hour of the movie, him getting a job, being a jealous prick, and acting like a jackass.

Then as we watch the compelling story of Sam and his never ending quest to find a job, we get short quick moments of Transformers acting like idiots. Not even the funny kind, just the sad kind. I thought it was face palming amusing that Optimus went into timeout after discovering a autobot ship was discovered crashed on the moon. Seriously. He transforms into a car, and just sits there refusing to talk to anyone until someone comes up and asks why he so saaaad.

He's in his special place and he's not coming out.

There, first half of the movie, summed up. Sparing you the painful moments of Deep Wong taking off his pants with Sam in a bathroom stall. Deep Wong, Get it? Like Deep Throat! The informant, not the... well, other thing. Yeah it wasn't funny when he explained it either. Another pointless character that's supposed to be funny, I think, but just had me confused with a stare.

Then the last hour of the movie is nameless transformers blowing things up. Yup. The end, that's the movie. Alright, I stalled getting into the storyline details long enough, I'll get into it.

So Sam after searching for a hour, gets a accounting job, which eventually leads him to meet Deep Wong, which brings him back into relevance with the Autobots. All the while the Autobots learn of a ship on the Dark side of the moon that was lost, carrying a super secret device which turns out to be a super teleporter. Taking their ship up their, they retrieve the teleportation rods and Sentinel Prime, former leader of the autobots, who by the way for, some, reason, was modeled after Shaun Connery!

Looks just like him right? Alas, he's revived with the power of the Autobots Matrix of Leadership, since that's the only thing that can revive a deceased Transformer! Except for the all Spark. Which also works for killing living Transformers. Moving on.

They recap Cybertrons destruction, and the Decepticons begin terminating their human collaborators, leading Deep Wong to tell Sam the Decepticons knew about the crashed ship on the moon, and wanted to Autobots to fetch it. After that, filler filler filler, get the crazy CIA guy and Sam back into the plot, Sam's girlfriend gets on about her soldier brother and the generic "I don't want you to get hurt so I'm leaving you" speech,Sam treats his former boss like crap, the same way the head military hag treated him (IRONY!) nothing happens, Shaun Connery AKA Sentinel Prime betrays the autobots, gives Spock speech about the needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few, and leaves.

With the Shaun Connery Autobot, the Decepticons can use the Hyperspace gates to summon hundreds of Decepticons to earth, leading the government to tell the Autobots to GTFO, which they comply to. Sam Protests saying the Autobots don't have a way to leave earth... wait what? How did the first set of autobots get to Earth, the second wave of autobots get to Earth, and how did they get to the moon if they didn't have the means to get to earth? Also, do they need a ship? As I recall, right after being revived, without a ship, Megatron bolted to the moon in the last movie. Anyway moving on, that line and Sam's place in the plot is pointless as the autobots remember they have a ship which they used to get there in the first place, and are using it to leave.

Oh and Sam's a Decepticon spy since his idiot girlfriend went and got caught. Of course the Autobots don't disclose their intimate plan and details to him since why the fuck should they tell their secret plans to a guy in his late 20's playing a "kid" who's graduated from college and often gets called a teenager?

So Decepticons blow up the autobots ship with surprising ease.Really, if their ships cant survive the basic gunfire from a Deception, when the Transformers can often survive a blast to the face, no wonder the Autobots lost the war for Cybertron. After that everything goes to shit, decepticons begin killing off humans wildly and arming the main Hypespace gate thing, to teleport Cybertron into the earths atmosphere, destroying Earth. No wait, to use the human population to reconstruct technology way beyond even the smartest understanding, in cities a hundred times bigger than theirs. I mean, you'd use ants to build a skyscraper, wouldn't you?

I'll admit, despite the story taking a heads dive further down, not to say it hasn't been doing so since the first scene of the movie, it at least gets interesting because the action we been waiting the entire movie for begins in full throttle, pretty much nonstop for the remaining hour, of the 2 and a half hour long movie. Yes in this 150minute long movie, over half of the movie was devoted to Sam shitface's whining about people not worshiping him, how awesome he is, treating everyone like shit, and exposition. Why there's exposition in a movie with a story that exists just to get to the action? I'll never know.

The autobots reveal they faked their death, we spend 20 minutes watching Sam shithead and some army buddies try to shoot down the beacon, for 10 seconds, then spend the next 20 minutes sliding back and forward a collapsing building. Glad to see even when we finally get to the action, nearly half of it is spent on a pointless scene that means nothing, and shows shitty action. Meanwhile, Optimus Prime despite having been headed towards the beacon long before anyone else, is nowhere to be seen, we're stuck watching quick scenes of other transformers fighting, and Sam playing on his seesaw falling building.

Speaking of Seesaws, I miss those things hardcore. I been revisiting old playgrounds that had them from my youth, and to my surprise, they're nowhere to be found. Have seesaws been deemed too dangerous? Parent's are most likely afraid their kids will get catapulted away, la sigh.

Sorry, off topic, Seesaws was the most fun to remember and write part of this article. I need to find a new one someday. So Shaun Connery Autobot (Sentinel Prime) all the while acts like a idiot and how no idea what his quotes that Michael Bay is ripping off means, and says it anyway. What I want to know is, where does he get off saying '"The Needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few."? I could write another article on just why the Shaun Connery Autobot is an idiot, but I'll just sum it up with this perspective. Including Decepticons, there's only a few hundred Transformers left. Its been established in the last movie they cannot procreate any longer and are a dying species. There are billions of humans. How does a few hundred transformers needs constitute the needs of the many?

Also, who the fuck shot down Sentinel Prime's Ship? He was defecting to the Decepticons but if a Decepticon shot it down, you'd think Megatron would angrily mention it, and the Autobots had no clue he was defecting. So what the shit?

Anyway all the unrecognizable transformers and all the known decepticon's are getting killed off. Sam Shithead of all people uses his hookshot on Starscreams eye, causing him to thrash and toss Sam around blindly, somehow not freaking killing him, giving him the opening to put a bomb in his other eye and there goes Starscream. Rest in pieces.

Sam's girlfriend proceeds to call Megatron Shaun Connery Autobot's bitch, causing him to go on a hissy fit, stop him from dealing the death blow to Optimus Prime, and proceeds to get his ass kicked by Optimus before biting the dust. Shaun Connery Autobot, wounded and begging before Mercy, Optimus Executes him. Well, that was surprisingly cold for a supposed hero. With that, the movie has its happy ending. Score time.

Characters: 1/10
What is it with movies these days, pitchinig out the most obnoxious and unlikable cast of characters as possible? There were no redeeming characters in this entire movie except Optimus Prime, but for someone supposed to be a good and virtuous hero, he coldblooded murders Shaun Connery Autobot in the end.
Plot: 1/10
There's nothing wrong with a plot being solely to set up for action scenes, but there is something wrong if that extends over half of a over 2 hour long movie, and does nothing but fuel your hate for the main cast. Sorry, but I did not enjoy Sam's wacky every day life, listening to his narcissistic drivel as he searches for a job.
Fun Factor: 3/10
The movie is just plain painful to watch for more than half, with the final half being decently fun once the action FINALLY begins. Unfortunately, that's less than half the movie, and the fact getting there was so obscenely painful, it just takes away from it. This is not something to watch if you just want a good action flick as it takes too long getting to the damn point.
Directing & Casting: 4/10
For directing, the only saving grace is Michael Bays sure knows how to make a action scene. For casting, while I did enjoy some of the actors, after this I honestly hope I never see some of the actors again. Also Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was such a piss poor choice, her acting was bad, her accent was obnoxious, and I rather never have to see her again in a lead role. Thank god this is the only movie she's in.
Overall: 2/10
Again, like Superman returns, this is one of those "Must watch" movies out there. This is exceptionally sad as the only saving grace of this movie was the budget, that sets it apart from B-Movies such as Transmorphers. How often do you see a cheap knock off of a movie, that's actually better?

These were the two movies that I really just needed to get off my chest in explicit detail, alas, unsure if I'll find anymore movies that upsets me to the extent that these did, that I had to write a whole article on why they're bad, and shouldn't of been such a success, be we shall see.

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Superman Returns is a bad movie. (SPOILER WARNING!)

A budget of $209 million with a $400 million return for a script that writers just threw right out in a day, with no coherent thought, no thought out dilemma's or reason for why ANYTHING happen, besides to cheese in lame action, terrible romance, and an overall mediocre experience?

Seriously, where did the entire budget for this movie go? Definitely not into the costume design, I seen cosplayers at local cons put together better looking cosplays with a budget of under a hundred dollars and on their spare time.

Oh wait, let me guess, it all went into that infamous bulge hiding I heard ever so much of? Yes, lets spend millions, not on plot, sets, effects, but to make Brandon Rouths bulge smaller!

http://www.killermovies.com/s/superman/articles/5712.html

You know you have a bad movie and plot when it has plot holes you could steer the Titanic through. I'll keep specifics until the end, so due feel free to read on if you actually care about spoiling the "plot" to this movie. What I found strikingly humorous is Lex Luthor, even in Smallville they came up with this little issue. What issue might you ask? What he says is right, and what he does (to an extent) is justified! He believes Superman is being greedy, hoarding technology and his powers to himself, and desires to bring that technology to humanity. Of course, if it was just that clear, Superman would be the villain with Lex Luthor the hero, so they have to make Lex Luthor, without a doubt, "evil" or otherwise people would confuse who's supposed to be the protagonist and who's supposed to be the antagonist!

Of course since his actions and desires are completely valid and justified, and since we cant have a sympathetic villain, we have to make sure his plan on world domination involve killing billions FOR NO REASON. Oh, he does try to give a reason, a reason so half ass and full of plot holes, that no one even tries questioning or arguing against it. For a genius, Luthor is a bit short sighted and, well, idiotic.

Next, Lois, oh-hohoho, Lois Lane, Superman's staple romantic interest, involving two people who barely know anything about one and another. Lois, always a damsel in distress, falls in love with Superman because he's good looking, strong, has no flaws, and saves her life. Constantly. Superman falls in love with her because... well... she's sort of attractive? She completely ignores and treats him like crap as Clark? Maybe he's masochistic, and since he can't feel physical pain, he's drawn to the emotional pain of such an abusive relationship.

Can't go further on how Lois is a terrible person, without ruining the "plot" with spoilers, so read no further if you intend to watch the movie and care about having things spoiled for you.

Gone? Moving on. Lois Lane still pine after Superman after his absence for 5 years, despite having a fiance (Richard White, another cardboard cutout called a character), who treats her great, gets her out flying, helps raise her bastard of a son, and genuinely cares deeply for her. She doesn't stop at just cheating on him emotionally, but physically as well, while leading him on. Not only does she let him risk his life for her and her bastard son, she lies to him repeatedly when asked straight forward questions. Glad years of devotion means nothing to her if he's not infallible and perfect in every way.

Richard White, Lois's fiance, who takes care of her bastard son, takes her out flying, and is generally a good carrying guy, a loving fiance, and no one gives a shit. He's the nephew to the head of the Daily Planet, and has no background history other than that. Nope. Despite rescuing Superman, being the other man, and being in the movie as much as Lois Lane, there's nothing else to say about him. Lois Lane seems to only even be with him to have someone to take care of her son, to use him emotionally, and have someone to claim is her sons father besides Superman.

Kitty Kowalski, a character so irrelevant and obscure I'm sure the majority of people who watched the movie, doesn't even know who she is. She of course, is Lex Luthors lead sidekick and basically, booty call that obviously loathes him. The feeling is obviously mutual as at any turn, Lex Luthor puts her life at risk, actually cutting the breaks in her car to distract Superman, and has no care for her opinions. This shallow character has no back story, at all, no reason why she puts up with Lex Luthor despite hating his guts and taking every chance she gets to insult him (again, why does he keep her around?) for the movies desperately needed comic relief. In fact, this character is so shallow that I going out of my way to find -ANY- information on the character past her being in the movie, leads to nothing but information on the actress. Great sign for a movie that one of your main cast has so little history, information, and anything that makes a character that her role, in explicit detail, gets fully summed up in a single sentence. She is just there to be the villains girl for the movies exposition. For the record though, I loved her puppy.

Last real character left to discuss (since everyone is nothing more than paper cut outs with lines) would be the title hero himself, Superman. The movie starts with him apparently coming back after a 5 year absence since the end of Superman 2, retconning the movies that came after with increasingly lower production values and budget. I find this funny. Perhaps Batman could of received the same treatment, pretend all the movies after Batman Returns didn't happen as they were considered terrible (I for one enjoyed Batman Forever), make the movie take place 5 years later, despite obviously taking place in a world 20-30 years after the time of the second movie. That raises the most popular gripe over the movie, as Superman 2 takes place in 1978, very obviously as well, while Superman Returns takes place 5 years later. In 2006. Le's just assume Superman 2 took place 1995ish, and it was about 5 years since he left, which is 2 years after the last movie, making it 2002ish. It's really the least of the movies problems.

Alas, Clark Kent, our lovable Superman, (woops, super spoilers!) after his 5 year absense without saying goodbye, returns from his trip in space, all woozy from reentry to earn in the spaceship that brought him to earth as a child, quickly fainting. We learn he was looking around in debris from his old planet after hearing of its discovery, but finds no survivors. Did he look for 5 years or did it take him 1-3 years to get there, then another 1-3 years back, leaving him looking for a month, week, day, hour? We never learn. Let's just assume the ship had a hyperspace drive that instantly got him to krypton, since at the speed of light the nearest star system (Alpha Centauri) is 4 years away.

Having alas discovered no survivors, Superman returns to Earth and requires his old job at the Daily Planet as a reporter, and no one gives a shit but little Jimmy, who has to be 23-25 but acts like a 18 year old at tops. Lois, Superman's lover interest, greats him with a VERY distracted and uninterested tone, and seems to put up with him for no other reason than he's there. I have had friendly conversations with my mexican co-workers that doesn't even speak English than she's even once had with Clark. Yet still he pines over her, while even greater exposing the shallow nature of Lois. Let's just assume the glasses works because few people get to see Clark and Superman up close, and Clark keeps a low profile enough to never get noticed by anyone who actually gets a up close view of him as Superman. This explains how such a pathetic disguise can work, until you consider Lois. Lois, a person who knows every last detail of Superman and seen him up close and personal, pays so little attention to Clark, that she doesn't notice that they have the EXACT SAME FACE. Even better, he doesn't have the exact same hairstyle, he takes a curler to it real quick, because he can't save a baby trapped in a burning building without looking fabulous while doing it . Even her fiance who's never seen Superman up close notices the similarities more than she does, and he sees Clark, what, twice?

Throughout the movie we're led to believe the father of Lois's son is Richard, whom I remind you, is Lois Fiance if you already forgotten. Don't worry, no one remembers him. This kid is everywhere, Lois just keeps him out of school (let's hope it's summer break) and drags her everywhere, including when she breaks into a ship while tracing the source of the black out, that no one cares about despite it being more of a EMP, that doesn't fry anything except airplanes. I'll get back to that, but first, let me get more into the kid.

Now this kid is just a sad case. Doped on a list of medications and riddled with asthma, this kid has super strength and knocks a piano into one of Lex's music loving grunt, killing him as he was assaulting her over using a Fax Machine. Right Next to her. While she's being held captive by Lex Luthor. To call for help. Yup. That entire scene was just painful to watch. Throughout this, the only one that suspects the kid might be Superman's son is Lex Luthor, since everyone else we see is an idiot.

Back to the Blackout. Apparently Kryptonian crystals are like plants. Sprinkle some water on them, and they grow, which we first discover when Lex Luthor, for kicks and giggles, throws a shard of a crystal into apparently his old mansion base's model set's lake. Why does he do this here and oh, lets say a bucket of water in the middle of a flat field anywhere else? Simple, because he's an idiot. Alas, after appearing to have done nothing, to drive up the suspense and add some very bad humor, the experiment causes a massive EMP, knocking out all power in the city for a few minutes. this includes airplanes by the way. Thankfully though, it doesn't seem to have effected people on life support, with pacemakers, power plants, cars, trains, and so on. Just the plane Lois Lane is on, with a space shuttle on it.

So because of the EMP that doesn't actually fry circuits (or else we'd have an epidemic), the space shuttles system glitches and the countdown cannot be aborted. there's no manual aborts, and the clamp release wont, well, release. Basically, everything possible to go wrong, does go wrong, for the sake of action. Alas Superman comes to the rescue and makes sure the space shuttle rips open the she airplane properly to make its way to outer space, all the while, Lois Lane is flying around like a rag doll, because she's a idiot and unbuckled her seat belt. Flying across the plane, slamming into the back wall, she doesn't break her back, or even get a scratch or bruise on her. Yeesh, no wonder she was able to survive a night with Superman, she's a Man of Steel on herself!

So Superman at last returns to take care of the plane. And by take care of it, I mean rip off a wing. This is what made me think the movie was going to actually think about physics in the equation, and bring a more realistic turn to the "Super" things Superman does.

Yoink!

Nope. He later holds a airplane by the nose, straight up, before putting it down. Ignoring being godlike strong, that airplane would of crushed itself ontop of him, all the way through to the back of the plane (killing everyone on it) as no way the very nose tip could hold up all that weight, let alone be sturdy enough for him to slowly tip the plane to the ground.

Using the Crystals, Lex tosses it into the ocean with Kyrptonite to make a whole island, which brings me to my next note. How strong is Superman Anyway? He's not just able to lift up an entire continent while dying due to being excessively close to kyrptonite and actually HAVING kyrptonite stuck inside him, but he also survives reentry into the earth's atmosphere, WHILE DYING. WITH KRYPTONITE INSIDE HIM. This is the substance so powerful, that it makes even a punch from the scrawny Lex Luthor, knock him the fuck down, JUST BEING CLOSE TO. Makes sense.

I thought the Crystal island plan of Lex's was hilarious. His plan, create a island of kryptonite crystals, then proceed to sit on it, waiting, while everyone around him counts money and plays cards. Exactly what was his plan to claim the island for himself again? Calling dibs, I somehow don't think will work on the US military. He literally brought no supplies, made no attempt to harness the crystals and perhaps, you know, experiment and create those advanced crystal weapons he was so eagerly talking about earlier in the movie that could stave off the entire US military? Also, he's doing this to bring Kryptonian technology to earth, as he claims earlier, while sighting how Selfish Superman is for not sharing the technology. Guess what, based on that reason, everything he does is JUST, it isn't until the whole killing the entire population of the Americas that finally we have a reason to call him a villain. Why does he need to kill the entire population of the US and not create his continent, in oh lets say, the middle of the Atlantic? No Reason. If he had chosen the middle of the Atlantic, he'd effectively creating Atlantis, which would of been a amazing and awesome idea, but nope, he's an idiot. Not only did he miss removing any justification for the US to take the land from him by not having it devour the US in its creation, he misses the opportunity to make millions based around people wanting to see a real life Atlantis! I mean, come on, it would of made for HUGE tourism, something destroying the world economy wouldn't be so effective at gathering about. He was trying to make money, wasn't he? Our dear Lex Luthor also doesn't seem to understand why there's a shortage of land. It's not land itself that we're short on dumbass, it's resources, that you get, from land. There's PLENTY of land, unfortunately, they don't have natural resources we use, which his island, will have NONE OF. It would be FAR from ideal to grow crops, raise livestock, mine for precious metals and oil, and no wildlife of its own to hunt. It just looks pretty. Good riddance to it when Superman chucks it out randomly into space.

Good Riddance.

So finally the dreadfully fluffed and boring movie comes to an end. We're led to believe Superman has died, but of course, he doesn't, because that might of made sense, we can't have sense ANYWHERE in this movie. Don't you DARE think it. So Superman learns the rodent of Lois is actually his son, from that one shagging they did in Superman 2, and heads out as Lois catches a cigarette. The End.

So this movie was bad. The romance, shallow. The storyline, generic bad guy for sake of being bad, with a plan so idiotic that no one in the movie dared question. I could go on ranting on why this movie's bad but I believe I covered everything. Time for a final score.

Characters: 1/10
Characters? What characters? This movie just showcased animated cardboard cutouts.
Plot: 2/10
The storyline was just plain terrible. The only thing that keeps it from receiving a 1/10 from me is the fact that it is coherent, even if shallow, stale, generic, and relies on everyone in the movie being idiots.
Fun Factor: 4/10
Two saving points. This movie while painful to watch, did its job of being decently watchable. The action scenes were fun to watch, the CGI worked well enough, and it did have a couple of scenes that made me chuckle a bit. It suffers from being long winded, expecting the view to care just because it's Superman, and the fact that it rings NOTHING new or original.
Directing & Casting: 6/10
The performances all worked. The actors I'd have to say were the solid redeeming factor in this movie, unfortunately, they didn't have much to work on as the characters were shallow, and the script was terrible. Good transitions, good angles, good action.
Overall: 3/10
Honestly, the only thing that really makes me recommend watching this is the franchise it's named after. This is a movie with no redeeming qualities to it, it's not so bad it's good, it's just bad that it's bad. The fact that this movie made as much as Batman Begins just makes me sad, realizing how much of a sheep the common viewer truly is. We'll see if the reboot is any better, and if it has learned from the example the Batman revival has set forward.

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