Mobile App Reviews: Opera Mini for Windows 10

Device: Lumia 640
OS: Windows 10
App: Opera Mini
Data: 3-27-16

I haven't done app reviews as of yet so this might be a bit of a shaky one. Starting off let me say I've recently received a window 10 phone and started to really enjoy the overall interface. There's an issue though I came across when surfing the internet, saving images and mp3's just wasn't happening. So after a few attempts, I decided time to check out what other browsers the Windows Store had available. Lo and behold I came across Opera Mini.
Light weight, quick, compact, saves data when not on wifi (at varying levels you can choose between). And best of all, actually did what I wanted and downloaded MP3 and Images on a simple hold click.

Score: 5/5

Ponyo: A Fantastical Tale

By: 14thLord

Release: 2008
Category: Fantasy
Also known as: Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea

Beginning Ponyo, we're delivered a beautiful hand drawn piece, shown a underwater world filled with life and variety. We begin with a man who's somehow capable of maintaining himself in what appears to be a air bubble, doing what seems mundane tasks, at least to him. It is during these chores, that we first meet these human faced fish. While I understand it is meant to be enchanting creatures, I was horrified by it. Perhaps it was here I realized that I may intemperate this movie differently than most.

Coming a little too close to the surface, the titular character first meets Sasuke, the central protagonist of this movie, only to then go on a spree of misadventures in a brush with humanity. It is here we get to see the movies anti-human viewpoint as the trash

Finding Ponyo washed ashore with trash, Sasuke picks her up, just in time to keep her away from being rescued by her fathers minions, in a seen that sent a chill down my spine, followed by a “what the crap?”. As the wave attempts to take Ponyo back to her father, Sasuke rushes to shore, witnessing eyes in the water as it let out a moan. His response to this? “That was weird.”

Terrifying is the word I'd of personally used.

The storyline for Ponyo is very simplistic, revolving around Sasuke and out titular character, Ponyo. Bringing the human faced fish home to his mother, somehow convinced it's a simple gold fish. It isn't until a old lady takes a look that anyone even so much as bats a eye to it. Despite being completely sensible that she's startled by a human faced fish, the movie makes it come off as if she's the unreasonable one in all of this.

Alas her father rescues her and takes her back to the see, after a spree of antics, but not before it gets the craving for blood and flesh.

Ponyo, knowing the taste of flesh and blood, demands to return to the surface. Of course her father fears Ponyo's new found desire for the blood of other creatures, and leaves to request the aid of her mother who's the "Mother of the Sea." While he's gone, Ponyo makes her get away.

Escaping from her father captivity, Ponyo brings forward the apocalypse. Not even kidding. The moon is falling because of her, and the oceans are rising in a flood. Of course everything turns out all happy and whimsical by the end, but still.

Plot: 5/10
The Plot is simple, and requires no thinking. If you think about the events, it gives you a horrifying tale, while treating it as light hearted fantasy. While I'm very tempted to categorize this as Horror, it's clearly meant to be conceived as a light hearted tale of a fish learning about humanity, and wishing to become one. Similar to the tale of Disney's: The Little Mermaid. Of course, Disney was happy to distribute this in the United States.

Fun Factor: 7/10
I suppose many would say that Ponyo takes you on a wonderful journey? To me it felt very disney-esque in its story. Studio Ghibli and Miyazaki do what they're famous for doing, giving you a wonderful adventure in a bright and colorful world. Unfortunately, if you desire anything more than that, it may leave you on the opposite end of the scale for enjoyment.

Sound & Art: 8/10
The artstyle while not my personal preference, is clearly a step up compared to standard animation. The world is amazingly rich and full with little details, with near no computer assistance. The music itself is pretty wonderful as well, though nothing particularly exceptional nor memorable.

English Dubbing: 10/10
The english dubbing was done quite well. Often when doing shows with children or young / cute looking characters, american studios fall under the trap of using girls and speaking in painful falsetto tones. In Ponyo's case, new voice talents, kids under the age of 10 and other who've never done any work in anime. While never working again in anime, they've done countless other works, live and voice. Liam Neeson voiced Ponyo's father, who you may recognize as Qui-Gon from Star Wars.

Overall: 7/10
If you like to be taken on a wonderful, colorful adventure, Ponyo's the movie for you. Never does it take the circumstances too seriously. Thankfully so as the ramifications of Ponyo's actions are world threatening, and could easily turn nightmare fuel. Alas, if you've enjoyed Studio Ghibli's other works such as My Neighbor Totoro, The Cat Returns, of Howl's Moving Castle, you'll love this.

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Dictator was beyond horrible (No Spoilers)

By: 14th Lord



Alright, lets make this 2 cents quick and dirty. Dictator was directed by Larry Charles who we know from his extensive career directing movies such as.... uh.... Well.... he did do Borat. Not that I watched that. I had to do some research to discover his extensive profile directing pretty much nothing. His career started writing for Seinfeld, and started directing with Masked and Anonymous. Never heard of it either, so dont worry, you're not alone. Unless you had heard of it, then yes, you are indeed alone.

Taking a quick glance at his movie careers, Larry Charles seems infatuated by directing for over the top absurd movies. Just looking at the cover of Religulous and its cover poster involving monkeys in religious attire, one can quickly assume Dictator is well in his safe zone.



With a $65 million dollar budget, it's miraculous to me that not only did this movie break even, but it went on to earn over $177 million. Upon seeing the trailer in the theater when I was out to see another movie, I found my palm securely fastened to my face over how absurd this movie appeared. Upon first impressions, this movie appeared to be racist, sexist, over the top terrible humor. Finally after months of avoiding it, I at last took the moment to watch this train wreck of a movie and discovered my first impressions were completely correct.

No stereotype is spared, no summer comedy trope goes unused, and no racist and sexist remark goes unmade. That is the beauty of Dictator. It takes your average summer comedy movie where a bastard of a person meets new friends, realizes those he's done wrong in the past, and learns to be a better person himself before losing it all. Typical movie, well, it would be if it wasn't based on the Dictator of a african country known as Wadiya threatening nuclear holocaust. Every racist sterotype of middle easterners is taken and exaggerated a hundred folds. Building up this stereotype, the writer then follows up by of course, stripping him of his position and leaving him on the streets of New York City, where he can learn his wrong doings and become a better man while getting together with the obligatory girl love interest.

Haffaz Aladeen, the Dictator, is played by Sacha Baron Cohen, a British actor who you might know from Borat where he played the titular Borat, or Sweeney Todd where he was the self proclaimed “King of the Barbers”. Besides Sacha Cohen is Anna Faris who plays the movies obligatory love interest, Zoey. Zoey is every stereotype of the organic modern hippie rolled together, including the funny smells and lack of armpit shaving while somehow managing a organic produce store. Badly.



The comedy of this movie derives primary from satiring both politically correct and incorrect stereotypes, never once taking itself too seriously except when it's making fun of other movies for taking such scenes seriously. One instant for example comes when a woman spontaniously drops down into labor where our “hero” comes and delivers the baby in a manner most unhelpful, which involves him accidentally reaching into the wrong hole for the baby. Repeatedly. Of course this touching scene brings the two love interest together, while the woman in labor yells at the two to enjoy the moment some other time.

Characters: 5/10
The characters beauty of this movie is the characters existing as every politically incorrect stereotype. While this by no means make ANY of the characters a good character, let alone a likable character, it served the purpose of the movie without becoming distracting in itself.

Plot: 5/10
Take summer comedy movie and make it the most racist politically incorrect story about a Dictator. That pretty much sums up this plot. It's typical, and granted it's satirizing the genre, doesn't separate it from being in fact apart of the genre.

Fun Factor: 9/10
This can go either way. If you can enjoy racist and politically incorrect humor as long as it's satire, then you'll love this movie. Otherwise, expect to leave the box office in heavy rage.

Directing & Casting: 9/10
Everyone was well cast, and a movie of this tongue in cheek satire could of gone either way. To me, I felt it very carefully threaded the line of being racist and being satire, horridly, which oddly enough was perfect for this type of movie. Had this movie actually attempted going through with the trope of a jerk reaching redemption or actually tried making our protagonist with any shred of redemption, my opinion on this movie could easily be in the opposite end.

Overall: 7/10
This movie is bad. It looks as bad as the trailers and even worse. If you can enjoy this type of humor then it has my recommendation. While it's nothing particularly amazing, it's not too long, standing at only a hour and a half, while being enjoyable dumb fun.



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Doctor Who Reviews: Love & Monsters (SPOILER WARNING!)

By: 14th Lord



Love and Monsters is written by the lead writer of Doctor Who from 2005-2009, the famous, or infamous, Russel T Davies. Love and Monsters was the first of the “Doctor-lite” stories put out in the 2005 revival, and boy did it drop the ball.

What's a Doctor-lite episode you ask? Well to put it simple, TV shows can sometimes put out a small budget episode designed to cost little by not featuring the high paid actors, or at least to a minimal extent. Instead of seeing the featured class of actors, we meet low budget actors, usually those without much of a resume to speak of, leading the show. Another method of cutting costs are often called bottle episodes, where most the show takes place in a small set, usually something they already have lying around so they can save money from locations. A final method of cutting costs are usually referred to as flashback episodes, where the team uses clips from episodes throughout the run of the series while interlocking it with some contrived events to make it explainable. Regardless of the budget cut method used, this is an effective way to save money for season finale's so that they could even look more grand. Personally of these three methods, just keeping the big budget actors like David Tennant (The Doctor) and Billie Piper (Rose) to a minimal seems the best.

Since its aired, Love & Monsters has earned its place on countless Top 10 lists for worst Doctor Who episodes, with good reason. While some might say it's because the Doctor is barely in it, we also have the episode Blink from series 3 at the opposite end of the spectrum! Unlike Love & Monsters which is pretty universally hated, Blink is wildly heralded as one of the best episodes of modern Doctor Who!

Despite the largely poor reception though, I actually didn't find this episode as painful to watch as many seem to have. While this episode is definitely a lower quality episode than some, it's by no means terrible, and this is coming from someone who's a pretty strong critic of Russel's writing.

The episode begins with a odd mysterious feel, a man rushing over a dirt hill before finding something odd and out of place, something with a ominous aura. Two us though, we know this to be the Doctors Tardis that our stranger has found. The moment of awe and ominous wonder is quickly dispelled as we hear a familiar voice, screaming out for the Doctor. With that, we're off on a chase inside a warehouse!

Screams are abundant before at last we meet the first beastly of this episode, and isn't he a beauty?



Right after getting a good look at our full glories dental records, we discover that this isn't presently occurring. We see our Stranger now in front of a camera, iterating the story of the misadventure through a fish eye lens, because shut up that's the lens that comes with home sold cameras. With that, the title score plays.

Let me start out by saying that I found this right off the bat a very interesting premise for an episode. Someone telling of his adventure meeting the Doctor. We almost never get to see or understand it in the point of view of non-companions meeting the Doctor, and how their everyday lives are rocked by his pretense, so this to me would make a unique and fulfilling viewer experience.

Getting started with the actual episode, we're quickly treated to some very enjoyable Doctor and Rose antics that this pairing was most famous for. Before long we're treated with a Scoobydoo style chase scene, back and forward between rooms of a corridor. All that's missing is benny hill playing in the background.

We eventually come to learn the name of our Stranger to be Elton, and the name of his lady friend / cameragirl to be Ursula. Elton tells the camera in a documentary format of how and when he first met the Doctor as a child, never knowing why he found him in his house. Soon we come to learn he had practically front row seats to many of the crazy alien events that’s been occurring throughout the series. We see flashbacks of the plastic invasion back in the series intro with Rose, the alien ship crashing into Big Ben during World War 3, and even the Christmas invasion.

With the recent onslaught of alien invasions, Elton browses the internet for anything he can find when at last he comes across Ursula's blog. They had their first meeting as on her blog, she had a photo of the Doctor, who he first met as a child. While Elton had met the Doctor as a child, the photo was recently, and he looked exactly the same. To the viewer, that's an “Of course!” moment, but to some everyday man who only the face to being something he saw briefly in his childhood, it was a mystery that perhaps would of never been answered, yet with the alien invasions he learned his name. First name The, last name Doctor.

One curious thing about this though struck me. The photo was supposedly taken during the Christmas Invasion, but during the ENTIRETY of the episode, he was in a blue bathrobe and PJ's, yet in the picture he was in full brown suit and coat. It's only at the end when he's back at Rose's place did he took the outfit, but he spent all of 10 minutes tops outside Rose's apartment. Did Ursula just chill outside Rose's place to sneak a picture of him? Kind of a odd place to be taking pictures when there's alien space ships over the skies of London but ah well.



It was Ursula who told Elton who the Doctor was, well, at least his alias, causing him to respond in a manner that made me scream in joy. Whenever the Doctor introduces himself, it's a ongoing gag of the show for them to ask “Doctor Who?” but to me, I always thought that was odd, I'd ask “Doctor What?” instead. Good old Elton though didn't fall for the Doctor Who gag, and instead asked “Doctor What?” much to my endearment.

Ursula begins to tell Elton of what sounds like a cult society, the “Inner Sanctum” as she put it, who studies the Doctor. We get another view of the Elton before the camera who's telling us of how he first met Ursula before making a comment that's a bit on the strange side, “Poor Ursula” followed by a clip of her screaming. How ominous.

The lead member of the group is a Mr. Skinner, who was the one to recognize the importance of Ursula's supposedly random picture of the Doctor that she took during the Christmas Invasion. We get a quick scene where he discusses the Doctor in front of a diagram. Then we meet bridget who expands on this, claiming that there are many different Doctors, but always a blue Police Box cropping up throughout history, even in egytion hieroglyphics! At last we meet Bliss, who's obviously the artistic type, making a highly abstract sculpture that she claims to be or represent the Doctor, though to me it more closely resembles a abstract sort of tentacles. Perhaps she just has those kind of fantasies about the Doctor.

They discuss forming a name for their cult-like group should have a name, a strong, manly one! Like Linda! Surprisingly enough, everyone agrees with Elton on the name. Apparently he's been wanting to use the name Linda for years. Ah well that explains a few things about him I suppose.



It isn't long before Linda devolves from a investigative group of the Doctor's activities to a casual hang out group of friends, bringing food, reading their stories, a band, and even a therapy group for one and another. While this is all done in brief scenes, it gives effective character building, and makes every member feel that much more real. It's then while playing in their band together, that they meet Victor Kennedy.

Victor Kennedy brings new information, video and sound clips about the Doctor to the group, restarting their investigation on the Doctor's activities. He quickly takes command of the group, sending them all out on elite missions, but not before asking Bliss to stay behind for a quick chat. As the make off discussing the his new management, a scream is heard, not that our Linda gang hears it. After that, Bliss inexplicably goes missing. Getting Married, so Victor Kennedy claims. It is then that they head out on a mission to track down the Doctor, bringing us through a quick montage of the events at the beginning of the episode.

Angry at Elton for running off when he confronted the Doctor, Victor quickly shows his colors and becomes violent, threatening to beat him for his failure. After a quick confrontation with Ursula threatening Victor back, he concedes and forms a new plan, to find the Doctor's companion. He begins showing pictures of Rose on power point, mentioning the “Torchwood Files” for the second time in this episode. While these files held information on the Doctor, it was a bit lacking when it came to his companions, thanks to a Bad Wolf Virus.



As we've learned in previous episodes, the Doctor gave a virus to Mickey to unleash, that would erase all information of his existence. Apparently the virus has quite a bit to be desired as there's more information on him than his companions but ah well. This brief mention does make a nice good continuity nod, while foreshadowing the events to come in this season.

Victor gives them the impossible task of finding Rose by foot, armed only with a photo. A seeding task, finding a girl in 10 million. A task that demands the impossible made possible. So of course Elton near instantly discovers someone who not just recognizes her, but point out her house which is within walking distance of where he is. Even knows her mother! Well, that was anticlimactic. A quick jog away and he just happens to hear someone calling for Jackie, Rose's mother who Elton just learned of. What luck. Not only that, she quickly enters the laundromat and with him on her heels, thinking of ways to create an interaction between the two, she initiates conversation. Jackie by the way is very talkative. As Elton begins his infiltration of Jackies household, Victor Kennedy is seen asking to speak to Bridget in private. Of course, another scream is heard, none to Linda's awareness.

I find it amusing how they continuously build up a tense moment of how Elton would do such daring and difficult tasks, only to have him effortlessly accomplish it thanks to wonky coincidences.

Quickly infiltrating Jackie's household, well, by infiltrating, I mean Jackie invites him over regularly for handyman work. Soon Elton found himself a regular visitor of Jackie's apartment as she begins attempting to seduce him. Wow does Jackie like them young. Elton looks half her age easily. Though I suppose looks can be deceiving as in reality the actor playing Elton is only 2 years younger than the actress playing Jackie, even if to me he looks to be in his mid 20's while Jackie is in her late 40's.



It's during her seduction that Jackie gets a phone call from Rose, which kills her libido. Funny how 5 minutes could of saved Elton's now wine stained shirt, and not leave him topless in front of her. Though to be fair, if he wasn't topless infront of her, he may of not had his revaluation that finding the Doctor no longer truly mattered to him, but instead Ursula was what mattered most to him. We get a cheesy montage of Elliot thinking back to Ursula and the fun times he had with Linda. Well, that sentence could be read a bit awkwardly. Anyway he remembers all the fun times in Linda and we even see clips of him boogieing out in front of the camera at home, perhaps to show he was happy? Alas he runs off to get a pizza to cheer up Jackie, but alas in his absence, she finds a picture of her daughter in his coat.

Elliot goes back and rampages over Victor Kennedy's aggressive management, leading to the exodus of Linda out of Victors clutches. As they make their leave though, Victor bribes Skinner to stay, claiming he'll help find Bridget who's since gone missing if he continues to help him.

As Elton and Ursula leave together to begin their romantic affair, a scream is heard once more, this time it's Mr. Skinner. Still no one hears it, and it's only a coincidence that they forgot something inside, that leads them to return, only thanks to Ursula forgetting her phone. I'll mention this now since this is the last time we'll hear it, but what's the point of giving a agonized scream every time, in a way it seems Elton should hear, when it's obviously purely for the viewer to acknowledge? It destroys any suspense or mystery, and makes the characters look like complete sods for not noticing.

They take the elevator back up to the meeting room, when they notice something amiss, at last. Mr. Skinner is missing, and Victor Kennedy is acting very suspicious, hiding behind a newspaper he has propped up, covering him completely. Victor attempts to pursue them away, but the faint murmur of Mr. Skinner crying for help is finally heard. At last the truth is out, and they discover that Victor Kennedy is a Alien who absorbs people, and has been absorbing them one by one. An Abzorbaloff. Oh and Bliss, our resident hippy off the group, has had the misfortune of having her face appear on the creatures rear end, and I don't mean his back. All the while the creature tries being as disgusting as possible, lapping its tongue around in a nasty manner that makes you just want to vomit.



The monster design in this episode, needless to say, is subject to high amounts of criticism. The design and name actually came form a nine year old who entered a competition and one, which explains the simplistic design, though I'd like to note the Abzorbaloff was originally supposed to be far larger.



At last regardless to why the monster design was chosen, doesnt change the fact that it came out looking like a disgusting obese mess of a creature. It manages to grab Ursula, absorbing her into its mess of a body before Elton makes his a run for it. Apparently, Ursula can read his mind thanks to having been absorbed, and used the talent to warn Elton he was next, not that it shouldn't be painfully obvious. That little talent would have been a bit helpful if anyone else had decided to tell Ursula what it was thinking before it ate her.

As Elton Is cornered and waits for his demise, the Tardis is heard, the Doctor and Rose making its way out in a scene that looks quite legendary. That is, until Rose opens her mouth, upset with Elton over her mother. Typical Rose and Doctor antics begin. In a continuity nod, Rose asks if the creature is Slitheen, not that I can see the similarities. At last her guess was sort of correct, as the creature came from a twin planet of the Slitheen, Clom. Well, simple name, especially since the Slitheen had a long complex name. It isn't long before the Doctor manages to defeat the monster of the week, with only a single nonchalant line.

The creature dissolved and the Linda gang are gone, all but Elton remaining. The Doctor explains why he was there that day, all those years ago when Elton first met him. He tracked down a creature, but not before it killed his mother. We see a montage of her, in a fashion of old family film that helps make her feel real, and like her loss seems heartfelt.

Elton foreshadows on the dire fates of those who come into contact with the Doctor, wondering how long it will be before Rose and Jackie feels it as well. As he lamnents, a familiar voice is heard consoling him. The Doctor apparently managed to rescue Ursula! Leaving her as a heavy stone tile. A face in a stone tile. And apparently they have a love life. Ew.



Love and monsters would begin a tradition of Doctor-lite episodes, thanks to how successful it was at both lowering the budget and speeding up production time as they could film two episodes in the same time as one. While it was a casual fun episode, with solid directing, it came off pretty hammy often enough.

Non-Reoccuring Characters 9/10
Perhaps it helped having a cast entirely of guest stars, allowing more focus to be spent on them and their lives, making them all feel very real. Their losses seem real, and isn't brushed off like it often is, and the characters are likable all around.

Plot 6/10
While there's nothing wrong with the plot, even making continuity nods hear and there, there's no real revelations throughout the story and no development for the series as a whole is made. It relies pretty heavily on the viewer assuming the characters are too stupid to notice everyone's going missing one by one after the monster asks to speak with them in private. It's a pretty standard in means of a story, with a simple victory and conclusion. Though the Ursula becoming a stone tablet thing is pretty disturbing. How can anyone think that's a happy ending, even if they try to write off Ursula as being happy with it?!

Fun Factor 7/10
The episode is pretty decent and fun to watch, even without the Doctor's presence. This episode is a solid fun viewing experience, even if just watching once.

Directing and Writing 6/10
While the directing and writing was standard, there's nothing here to wow or awe you, with the awkward screams and the overall dealings with the Abzorbaloff just awkward and disgusting to the point that it's a bit disturbing to watch out of how vomit-inducing the material is. I can understand trying to make this creature as disgusting as possible, but did they really need to make an ass joke, and have it licking the air for no other reason besides to look disgusting?

Overall 7/10
While many might disagree with me, Love & Monsters is a solid watching experience, though I wouldn't recommend watching it more than once. The last 15 minutes of the episode can be pretty difficult thanks to the crude jokes revolving an absolutely disgusting mess of a monster. Overall, the episode adds nothing to the overall plot and story arch, and while largely can be skipped, it's still worth a viewing, at least to know the infamous scenes from the end.

Watch Vote: Watch once. While it's alright to watch once, it doesn't hold up to being rewatched or thought about.


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Doctor Who Reviews: Fear Her (SPOILER WARNING!)

By: 14th Lord



Matthew Graham, perhaps best known for his work on the BBC's “Life on Mars”, “Ashes to Ashes”, “Bonekickers”, and “Eternal Law”. As I haven't watched any of that, and think it might be a bit extensive of a research project to comment on his full writing capabilities. Unfortunately, the only samples of his writing abilities come simply from his writing on Doctor Who, the episodes “Fear Her” and the two part, “The Rebel Flesh”, and “The Almost People”

While I have to concede that a person who has won 6 awards, 5 for his work in Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes, with the 6th for a episode of This Life, I can honestly say that his work in Doctor Who doesn't show off this skill.

Fear Her I remember as perhaps near the top of my list of my least favorite episode of the 10th Doctors run on modern Doctor Who. The premise is simple. In a ordinary household, there's a child with unimaginable powers that can reshape the world. A problem child of course is something all parents can relate to, but give a scared child godlike powers, and you have a nasty case to deal with. After watching Night Terrors, I stopped for a moment to think about the episode, it was amazing, dark, creepy, and highlighted how a child can see the world to those who've grown and forgotten simple fears, whether it be the scary landlord and his dog, or the wheezing elevator. Night Terrors while many might gripe that it feels like a rehash of Fear Her, I beg to disagree. Night Terrors is Fear Her done right.

There's many problems with the episode Fear Her, not even considering the fact that Mattew Graham has outright stated that it wasn't made for the adult audiences in the crowd, but the children.



Fear her begins the same way you'd imagine a normal sitcom would begin, out of the field with the city dwellers enjoying the daily life, when we notice something dark afoot. A poster for a missing child. Panic a foot, and we see a child in the window, and immediately know something's afoot as she begins to draw, singing a nursery rhyme. Drawing at unimaginable speed, the drawing suddenly comes alive as another child disappears. From here one we have a exciting and odd premise for a creepy episode.

The Doctor and rose make a stop in time for Olympics 2012, noticing missing children posters. Well, Rose notices, the Doctor kind of wanders off talking about edible ball bearings until Rose yanks him over. It isn't long before the Doctor runs off to enjoy some grass.



A mom notices something afoot with her child, glancing at her window whenever a sudden disappearance occurs, and while the Doctor inquires of the mysterious vanishings. While she can tell something's afoot with her child, who threatens to “draw her” if she doesn't leave her alone. Can't have interruptions when it comes to drawing cats. Of course, the cat goes and hides in a box for no reason as Rose chases after it, so that it can inexplicable vanish.

While its not unusual for child actors to, well, be bad actors, it doesn't help that the writing for her lines is awful, to say the least. Everything out of her is blatant exposition, flat and monotone.

Of course from the get go there's no mystery in how or what is causing the incidents, and neither is it a mystery for the Doctor and Rose for long as they discover the source to be the little girl named Chloe. While the episode makes attempts at being creepy, with the monotone little girl, the living drawings of children in horror, it comes off as a hamfest, and the directing of the girl to constantly whisper while acting possessed, doesn't help matters one bit.



The Doctor and Rose discusses she who shall be referred solely as "Mom" about the disappearances, and Chloe who has been acting odd for sometime now. During the discussing, we learn her highly abusive father passed away in a car accident some time ago, and Chloe continues to have nightmares about him to this day. It also becomes quickly apparent that Mom is a very neglectful mother, and never even brought up the death of her husband, Chloe's father to her, because she sees no point in it. Of course the Doctor and Rose points out she's a idiot.

Making his way into Chloe's room, the Doctor puts her into a psychic trance so that he could speak directly with the alien inhabiting the girl. Not that they had an difficulty prior as it seems its been the alien talking through the girl the entire time, but an excuse to show off the Doctors Time Lordy powers, is an excuse enough in its own. We discover a solar flare caused the alien entity known as the Isolus, that's possessing Chloe to crash into earth. The Isolus are powerful empathic beings, capable of creating whole worlds to play in. Unfortunately for the earth, they're used to large families of millions, and anything less is unbearably lonely to them, thus the grand drawing kidnappings. As long as the Doctor can find the creatures space ship though, all will be well. Not that it'd be any difficult as the Doctor is able to rig up a contraption to quickly find it. Unfortunately for him, Chloe has perhaps the worst mom in the world, who after discovering that her daughter kidnapped half the neighborhood, let her follow the Doctor to his Tardis, run back home, and draw him. To be fair, she did try taking all the pencils in the house, how was she to know that her daughter for some random reason decided she'd need a secret stash of pencils in the case of such a epidemic, and hide on inside a doll.

Realizing the Doctor's suddenly missing, Rose quickly runs back to Chloe's house and demands her to free the Doctor. Of course she refuses in that annoying whisper yell voice. Rose is at a panic, and tells her mother not to leave her out of her sight as she tries to get to the bottom of things.

Without the Doctor's help, it's now up to Rose to rescue the day, with the only clue for the space pods whereabouts being that it enjoys heat. Luckily for her, right in front of the house is a city employee, just sitting at the new pavement job on the street that he just completed, bragging about it to no end, because who doesn't feel paving a street perfectly flat as a accomplishment worthy of awards. Rose quickly puts two and two together though and begins to dig in that very spot, much to the street workers horror, and finds the space pod in seconds.



Running back in, Rose comes to a stark realization, a point the viewer should of noted from the beginning of the episode, that Chloe's mom is an idiot. Apparently by Rose's demand to not leave her insane child who can abduct people into drawings with nothing but a piece of paper and a pencil, Chloe's mom misunderstood her to meaning leave her alone. That's right, Rose isn't gone for 5 minutes before her mother begins neglecting her child, in a room filled with paper and pencils.

The entire audience of the Olympics is abducted into Chloe's drawing. Of course that's not enough for the homicidal alien and she begins drawing the entire earth on her wall, as a demonic drawing of her father begins to come to life. The space pod isn't coming to life and the alien threatens to let out Chloe's demonic father if they try to stop her. With the chips down, the street worker notices the drawing of the Doctor move. There's a drawing of the olympic flame near it.

Of course the majority of the time the Doctor survives or resolves a issue thanks to pure dumb lucky, but still you have to admit, this has been a very lucky day as the runner with the Olympic flame will be passing the front of Chloe's house. Within the span of 10 minutes, the street has gone empty with Rose digging in it with a pick axe, to completely crowded as the flame holder on his way through. Running outside, Rose is unable to get close enough as police officers hold her back, because she can randomly dig in the middle of the street, but they'll be damned if they let her cross the line. All isn't lost though as the pod begins to awaken with life, all that's required to bring it back to life is Rose tossing it towards the flame, which homes itself straight into it.

The day is saved. Instantly recognizing her ship has come back to life, the alien Isolus leaves Chloe's body, leaving the earth and returning everyone back to earth. Well, the day would be saved if it wasn't for the fact that apparently, the Isolus was a douche, and didn't just return everything she drew back to life, but also decided to bring to bring to life Chloe's demonic dad. Just for shits and giggles of course.



The Isolus alien inside her has been refusing the Doctor and Rose's help because it 'loved Chloe', how else do you prove you love someone then giving them the gift of their nightmares. Its okay, a little singing is all that's required to save the day and make demon dad disappear because shut up, it does.

Still the Doctor's no where in sight despite everyone being restored, and on TV, Rose watched as the runner holding the Olympic flame collapses. Things look bleak but finally, we discover where the Doctor has made himself off to, grabbing hold of the torch, he brings it and lights the flame, allowing the Isolus's ship to reach full power and return home thanks to the power of love, because the Olympic flame apparently embodies love, as we learned earlier. With the image of the Doctor carrying the Olympic flame, we've reached our cheese quota of the week, and the episode at last comes to a close.



Non-Reoccuring Characters 2/10
When discussing a episode of Doctor who, the majority of the cast will be one shot characters you'll never see again, yet it's important that these characters are not just memorable, but feel real. Whether it's a alien mercenary gunning down our heroes, or a stay at home dad that's a slight on the dim side. The characters in Fear Her though can be summed up in a word, idiots. We have the street worker who seems to do nothing but pave the road in front of Chloe's house, talking fast while not saying anything of substance. Next we have the neighbors who I'm pretty sure were never given names. Then we have Chloe's mom who wins this reviews award for Worst Parent Ever, for constant child neglect, of a child she knows is possessed by a crazy alien, but still decides it's a okay idea to leave her alone in her room with a paper and pencil that she can abduct people in mass with.

Plot 4/10
The plot is simple and while attempts to start up as a creepy mystery, reveals everything from the get go, leaving the viewer with no suspense. There's nothing to engage you into the plot and no depth, relying heavily on everything being conveniently a light jog away, and Chloe's mom and the Isolus possessing her daughter being complete idiots. While I rate a plot that can manage to bring eveyrhting conveniently lined up to make the episode work a 5, the plot of this episode was particularly underwhelming. It's a shame, since it feels the premise could be great for a dark and creepy story, which the episode seems to attempt going towards, while at the same time having no idea how to do so and giving up after the first 10 minutes.

Fun Factor 6/10
Rose and the Doctor's chemistry is amazing as always, and there's quite a few fun bits spread throughout the episode, whether it's just the two discussing the dilema, or the Doctor running with the Olympic Flame. While the episode does have its fun moments though, there's nothing particularly fun and engaging going on, enough to take you away from the shoddy characters, writing, and cheesy premise, earning it a average score, but gaining a point for having the Doctor carry the Olympic flame, the one fun point to bring up about the episode.

Directing and Writing 3/10
Creepy little girl? Who isn't sold by this concept? Hire a terrible child actor, give them terrible lines to read and directing them to talk in a highly annoying whisper yell voice? That's a quick way to ruin a episode. The biggest problem I find is that the idea feels solid to me, yet this episode is so poorly put together that its on the painful end of the scale to watch.

Overall 3/10
Do not recommend. This episode is easily skipped and brings no character or story development to the mix. If you want the concept of a creepy child and a dark presence hiding in the closet, Mark Gatiss revisits the concept in Night Terrors, introducing a nursery rhyme that was so gorgeous, it was reused excessively the remaining few episodes of the season.

Watch Vote: Skippable

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007: Skyfall was a Must See (No Spoilers)

By: 14th Lord

Ah the newest James Bond movie, Skyfall, starring the newest Bond, portrayed by Daniel Craig. Since Casino Royal, we've only had one previous movie to get to know this bond, but there are a few key notes we've come to learn. For starters, this Bond relies a lot less on gizmos and gadgets, instead opting for brute force. Also he has a mild habit of killing all his sources of information before he can actually get any information from them. I remember back in the beginning of Casino Royal where we see James Bond chasing after a suspect whom was able to do crazy acrobatic moves to escape Bond over a ventilation shaft, only to have Bond smash his way through the wall, running full speed.

Getting to Skyfall, we're exposed to another chase scene, this time bond chasing a culprit who apparently stole a top secret hard drive containing the identities of undercover agents. The chase goes from bad to worse, with it ending up on a train, with Bond tearing apart the train with a construction vehicle that was conveniently on board. He's shot and injured ,but continues on without issue, coming into hand to hand struggle with the culprit. All the while M is observing the situation while in contact with another agent, Eve, a sniper. With time running out before the agent loses the two in a tunnel, M gives the order to shoot. Eve protests at first as she could only get Bond in her sights, but concedes and takes the shot.

Agent Down.

This isn't spoilers as this takes the course of the first 10 minutes of the movie before the title crawl, and any trailer would of told far more. As I'm hoping ot keep this free, lets just sum up my views on the characters and plot.

MI6 is bombed, and M is being framed, so it's Bond's job to protect her, find who's responsible, and neutralize the threat. All the while, he meets a girl named Severine who works as a double agent for the mysterious Silva. Bond, through a scene that involves him being thrown into a pit with beasts that're trying to take a bite out of him, riding a boat, and getting 'interrogated' by Silva himself.

Meeting the new Q, or Quarter Master, we only get two gadgets, a mini distress radio to alert MI6 to jobs position upon activation, and a gun coded to only work to his palm print. Using the mobile radio, he alerts MI6 who come to his rescue.

During this movie, we're told that Silva is basically a god thanks to being a super elite hacker. He triggers the explosion in MI6's headquarters through hacking! An ongoing theme with modern movies, where hacking can pretty much do anything, along with it being super action intense and interesting. While this was bothersome, you could look pass it thanks to good story telling.

One thing that didn't sit well with me though was the constant griping throughout the movie that Bond was getting old, washed up, and should retire young before crashing and burning. We only just got to know Daniel Craig, this being the 3rd movie we're seeing him in, in a timeline that back in Casino Royal we saw being rebooted with him freshly made into 007. Maybe another movie or two, or a better job at conveying a time gap and many more jobs since the last movie might of helped, but as it was, it came off awkward.

Now before anyone mentions it, I know it was the 50th.

The characters were actually alluding to the Franchise itself rather than James Bond the character. 50 years of James Bond, and this movie was a worthy addition to the series. At last we have a villain that's recognizable, something we've been lacking, at least in my opinion, since Goldeneye.

With the recent Daniel Craig movies, many fans seem to feel its been becoming less and less of a James Bond movie with each new addition, a issue that Skyfall fixed. Crammed in the two hour time frame is reference after reference to classic Bond, all the way back from the Connery days.

Characters: 9/10
In this movie we meet another agent of MI6, Eve, who has earned herself an memorable roll. She has a flirtatious relationship with Bond, but unlike many of the past Bond girls, never does anything more than just that. M is played straight. We learn a lot about her, giving depth to the character never seen before, without ever having her break down or give us exposition of her passed. We learn from her actions, despite still leaving knowing little of her. Silva in particular earns his place firmly in one of the few Bond villains that was truly memorable. He starts off odd and rich looking, but the more we learn, the more demented and disturbed we come to realize he is.

Plot: 9/10
Not much I can really say that I haven't already, without providing spoilers. The movie does what it wants, and conveys the points it wants very well. While practically thinking about it, you can find plot holes and impossibilities, but never does the movie hypocrite anything it establishes, a accomplishment few movies are capable of achieving.

Fun Factor: 9/10
This movie was very fun. Great action scenes, great dialogue, fun characters and some comedic relief moments that do not deter the story or mood. I never felt the time drag on while watching this beast of a movie. While you can knit pick this movie's less extravagant in its scenes, and make fun of it ending on a farm, this movie never dragged on.

Directing & Casting: 10/10
All the actors performed their roles in this movie exceptionally, nothing more needs to be said. At no point did a character, actor, pacing or angle in this movie ever aggravate me.

Overall: 10/10
Bonds finest hour in my opinion, or damn close to it. For the longest time, Goldeneye held its place as my favorite Bond movie, but Skyfall has proved to be a worthy adversary to that title. Only time will tell which will become thee Bond movie to watch during a quiet boring night, someday in the future.

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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review: No Spoilers

By: 14th Lord

First I have to say, who'd of known Abraham Lincoln could of made such an epic action hero? Alas, before I into discussing the movie, let me highly recommend this movie to everyone who enjoys a good action flick.

Starting off, lets talk about the whole premise of the movie, Abraham Lincoln becomes /is / was a vampire hunter. How the fuck does it get better than that? Of course this does require some suspension of disbelief, and enjoyment of REAL vampires, not those sparklewusses from vampire stories these days. These vampires are blood thirsty monsters, and they aren't pretty. Once the situation becomes confrontational, they show their true form that, well, lets just say is not something you want to embrace and have a love story with. They look and act vicious, showing often an enjoyment in manipulating, tricking, maiming and killing others. They're intelligent and vicious hunters, that blend in perfectly with society, with their only true weakness being silver.

The pacing of the story is something else that MUST be addressed. The movie is excessively stylized, and filled with fast paced action scenes that the common day viewer is expecting, with movies such as kick-ass, transformers, star trek, and sherlock have become notable for. Unlike Transformers though, despite being action packed, you at no point in the movie ever become lost in the fighting, wondering who's doing what to who in the fight as generic canon fodder is blown away one by one. The biggest difference to these movies though is how this movie takes the fast paced action, and carries it over to the movies 'down time' where people are giving out exposition and monologue. The entire movie comes off as one massive trailer that just keeps you sucked in, and when you realize that this is the actual movie, you're just blown away. Despite the fast paced style of the movie, the story does not take a back seat, but instead, keeps you fully engrossed, making it easy to stay up to date and know what's going on.

How cheesy is it? 
I thought I'd make a point to discuss the cheese factor of the movie, especially with the premise being Abraham Lincoln, being a Vampire hunter. Surprisingly enough, the cheesiness is kept to a minimal, despite the movie not taking itself extra seriously, yet at the same time, maintaining serious and impacting tones. Whereas MIB3 just made the movie as cheesy as a cheese sandwich on cheesebread with cheezewiz for dip, and cheezits at the side, this movie takes scenes cheesy scenes and makes them facepalming epic, if that even makes sense. The creators of MIB3 should take notes from this movie on how to avoid all the cheese.

Final question most have is, how historically accurate is this? It's not of course you shit head. Though, I found it excessively amusing how the movie actually does take things that happened in Abraham Lincolns life, and gives it a far more sinister, vampire related twist to it.

Characters: 9/10
The cast of the movie was very memorable, then again, how difficult is it to make Abraham Lincoln not memorable? Especially when he's a vampire hunter? All the characters seemed to have thei rown story and history, including some of the vampires who while are evil fuckers, aren't just there to be killed like a zombie in a zombie apocalypse movie. The characters are fleshed out, and the vampires tend to have their own quirks to their sadism.
Plot: 7/10
While the plot is a bit generic in the terms of, vampire hunter kills vampires, with a twist here and there, it is surprisingly fresh, and surprisingly deep for something named Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
 Fun Factor: 10/10
Imagine the most awesome action packed movie trailer that gave you the movies storyline. Now imagine that going on for 2 hours. Then imagine the joy you'll have with friends, thinking of other historical figures that would make awesome vampire hunters, like Ghandi. Do be prepared to face palm at moments when the movie becomes historical, but to me, it was a good face palm.
Directing & Casting: 9/10
While I never seen any of he cast in other movies, they all seemed to bring their all to the tables, making good casting choices. Great stylized camera cuts, and the makeup and cgi was pretty good, even if you could tell the horses were obviously not real.
 Overall: 9/10
This movie I found to be a must see, I highly recommend everyone to watch it, though I do recommend away from the 3D as the effects weren't that noticeable after awhile, though then again, I never been much of a fan of 3D.


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Men in Black 3 - Post Movie Review - Minimal Spoilers

By: 14th Lord

While I'll keeping this spoilers minimal, I'll diverge as much spoilers as the trailers do, with a bit extra information on the big bad of the movie, so that I can thoroughly explain the premise and where this movie fails.

Continuing the trend of reviving age old series, Men in Black 3 has been released in theaters and I wonder, who left was asking for a sequel after the disaster that was MIB2? As I gathered from my friends and acquaintances alike, expectations for the movie was low, and I'll admit, I went in expecting it to be bad, but open to being blown away.

We start the movie with a girl flaunting her cake all about a prison, in a scene that raises more questions that the movie just forgets about. We meet a unnamed girl, who delivers a cake to "Boris the Animal", before we discover, hey, we're in space!

Well, the moon to be more exact, but close enough. He breaks out of the prison through shooting open the wall with a big ass gun, sucking out many guards, and walking on the moon, killing the unnamed girl who moments ago he had a nasty scene involving his tongue, which I'm sure some people will be taking home for fap material. Apparently he can survive the extensive jump from the moon to earth, and doesn't need to breathe or worry about the extremely harsh conditions of space, which is never brought up or explained, nor is what the crap is with his eyes. He's a alien, explanations aren't needed.

So through the movie, Will Smith does his shtick, acting like a rookie agent who's still rash and hot headed, while the movie continues 15 years after he was recruited.

After the off screen death of Zed, and promotion of agent O, the MIB go to a random Chinese place, which happens to be where Boris the monster was waiting for K to kill him. He of course fails, and K refuses to tell J anything that might be helpful with the case in the past, despite according to what we later learn, he knew J would return to the past after K gets wiped out of history by Boris killing him in the past.

Skipping clutter, J time travels to the past to stop the end of the world in a manner that generates plot holes that we will ignore for the movies sake. Boris kills random people, J and K chase him. They end up finding a crazy alien while going into a party for models, who looks and acts weird, just for the sake to be weird, because hey, they're aliens, they must be freaks!

Crazy alien (Griffin the Arcanian) that can see every possible future gives them the arklight which when sent to space, would prevent Boris's race from invading. Why if his people had such a powerful device that only required you to place it in space (When if he;s on earth, they definitely have space travel), couldn't they stop Boris's race from invading? Not just that, they could SEE THE BLOODY FUTURE. Never brought up of course. Also, is it just me, or does Griffin look like Peter parker from the original spiderman movies?



Eventually J and K, despite Boris's persistence, acquires the arclight and go to nasa's rocket launch, the only method of getting the arclight to space, which no one thought of using despite it being big news, until someone happens to see the newspaper that it's launch day. Boris's fails to stop them, we discover what made K into a bitter humorless stiff that he's in modern day, happy ending, one last witty funny scene that's become a tradition, the end.

Characters: 3/10
Characters? All the development they would do, they did it better in the first movie. Granted, this movie was better as they developed K's past rather than butcher his character like MIB2 did, it was quite shallow. Will Smith, well, acts like Will Smith, and nothing's added or developed in his character. A major failure in this movie is relying on only having two characters, that was fully developed movies ago. Honestly, yet again, K as a character wasn't needed, as he was in little of the movie unless you count Young K, in which case, was a completely different character. Of course the movie throws in a bunch of one dimensional characters with poor back story, or there purely as cameo or a laugh, but that's not really characters.
Plot: 3/10
Everyone knew going into this movie, at least I'd hope, that the plot was going to be pretty bad. That doesn't prevent the movie from trying to hype and build up a climatic final battle revelation, but there's never a sense of danger. Everything's so routine. Boris, the big bad, was a shallow villain with minimal background story / motivation, and came off as less of a threat than even the villain of the previous movie. It's a bad trend that the movies crisis becomes less and less, despite struggling to hype up the reveals. Honestly, half the movie is hyping to things that'll happen, or what have happened, and when it's revealed, it's just a massive let down.
Fun Factor: 7/10
If you enjoy bad or cheesy movies, you'll enjoy this. This movie felt very reminiscent of the Mummy 3 in cheese. While the Mummy 1 and 2 took things that could of been cheesy in a fun and serious light, like this the Mummy 3, MIB3 took situations that you could imagine would of been in the first movie, and just cheesifies it. Many times I had to whisper in my friends ear, "OF COURSE!" or, "Don't tell me they're going to...". At the end, I left the theater with a smile on my face, largely because I enjoyed how cheesy and bad it was.
Directing & Casting: 5/10
The directing was horrible. Not everything needs to be comedic, this is something the first movie knew. Will Smith acted far too "rookie" for a "senior" MIB agent. Every character just felt, well, wrong, as a person. It just didn't feel that anyone could act the way the characters acted. Like MIB2, it seemed the few returning cast could of been replaced easily, as the characters weren't needed except for nostalgia sake.
Overall: 5/10
If you like nostalgia trips, bad movies, or cheesy movies, this is the movie for you. I highly recommend against seeing it in 3d, as this movie isn't even worth the ticket price to see. It can be simply bad fun, but in the end, I left the theater with a smile, so I suppose it passes, giving it a +1 in my books, making it a average movie that only just gives the viewer enough reason to want to watch it. As this movie had a ton of continuity errors, I might make a second write up (filled with spoilers of course) to point them all out. Just one last question before I go. Who the fuck was the cleavage girl in the beginning of the movie? Did she even have a fucking name?

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Ghostbusters 2 that I loved. (No Spoilers)

Top Ten Movies Everyone Hated
10. Ghostbusters 2
That I loved.

I thought I'd start a list of 10 movies I loved, that everyone else seems to have hated, including movies that is either universally agreed to be bad, movies that barely broke even, and movies that was made at a huge loss. Alas, Ghostbusters 2 is a movie of the former, while it was a financial success, it's always compared poorly, or outright panned when discussing the original Ghostbusters movie, but why is this?

Ghostbusters 2 starts out with Dana, the heroine-ish character from the last movie making a return, this time, with a baby! Things quickly go downhill as her baby runs away with its carriage, before stopping right in the middle of New York City traffic, barely missing a head on collision with a bus. Of course, we all immediately know something supernatural is afoot, and queue the intro song.

As the movie goes on we learn more about the new mysterious painting that has turned up in Dana's workplace, as the Ghostbusters investigates the events, and Venkman, played by the ever so wonderful Bill Murray, pines over Dana. We also discover after rescuing the world from a ghostly invasion at the end of the last movie, that the Ghostbusters were labeled as a fraud, and pretty much sued by everyone possible, no longer allowed to practice ghost busting. Only in America. Gotta love it.

This doesn't last long, as the ghostbusters discover the cause of Dana's baby carriage suddenly bolting into the middle of traffic on its own. Deep underground where the carriage had suddenly stopped is a massive tunnel is a tunnel, flowing with a lake of slime.

As the movie goes one, we learn more and more of the connection between the river of slime and Vego, the painting brought into Dana's place of work, as ghosts make their return, bringing the need and return of the Ghostbusters.

Characters: 10/10
It's a show of quality when a movie can show you who a character is, and even have an antagonist a likable character. Meanwhile the big bad is well developed, with a history brought up as the Ghostbusters search for info on the mysterious new painting in the museum Dana works at. Every character in the movie was a joy to watch, and quite memorable, even characters that only appeared for less than a minute.

Plot: 7/10
While there are a few plot holes here and there, nothing major enough to effect the overall enjoyment of the movie or distract the viewer. The movie does well to show the audience the situations, rather than tell the occurrence. Granted the movies plot wasn't as "epic" as Ghostbusters 1, I found it just as enjoyable.

Fun Factor: 9/10
Unlike movies made now days, little effort is made to have the movie with blood pumping action. Alas, the movie had tons of witty moments of humor, joyful characters that you just enjoy seeing going on with their lives, and great moments of actions when it comes. Also, it's rare to see the Statue of Libery being moved around New York City on a Nintendo controller.

Directing & Casting: 9/10
Perfect Cast, great camera works, though a few very noticeable production errors, the effects were all seamless and simply amazing.

Overall: 9/10
This movie overall is a classic and must watch in my opinion. It's rare that I'll see a movie and feel that anyone could enjoy it. What keeps it from being a perfect score is the single layer of plot, that provides little fodder for one to hypothesis or discuss at later points and time.

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Sucker Punch was a Enjoyable Movie (SPOILER WARNING!)

Deep, clever, and quite videogame-esq, Sucker Punch has earned a place in my heart and favor. Earning $90million in the box office, this piece proved quite underrated as it barely earned over the budget to make the movie in the first place. While I avoided reading any reviews until after viewing the movie, the critics all around dead panned this amazing movie unjustly. Apparently a common critique is it's misogynist if the critic viewing it, finds anyone of the female cast to be "sexy", and as it has undertones of abuse and rape towards the female sex, it cannot have anything to do with female empowerment. I greatly disagree.

With this movie, a key word will come up often, interpretation. Due to the abstract nature of the movie, where it implies what's happening rather than telling the audience what's happening, I cannot accurately sum up the story or what happens, since it's very open to interpretation, and you taking the movie in, and figuring out the actions and true events that transpires.

First let's discuss about the premise of the movie. Baby-doll is a girl with an abusive alcoholic step-father who married her mother for money, which is immediately apparent in the first scene. She's taken to a mental institute where she awaits an illegal lobotomy to cover up the true circumstances of her mother and sisters deaths. As they strap Baby-doll down to the chair and begin the procedure, the movie begins, in a state of her mind, so what's truly going on becomes extremely abstract, as we're seeing what happens in a way Baby-doll dramatizes it in her minds escape.

What's it to be videogame-esq might you ask? Baby-dolls mind consists of three layers. The real world and what's truly occurring, which we rarely ever see. The brothel world which Baby-doll conjures up in place of an asylum, and plays out as an escape to the real world as it's too harsh to cope with, and at last, the fantasy world where Baby-doll and her friends have power. In this fantasy world, scenes play out as if levels from a video game. Baby-doll is given tasks and goals, for missions she must accomplish, which takes her a step further in the achieving the final mission, her escape. In this world, she fights hoards of bosses and canon-fodder minions in intense action scenes, primarily in what appears to be World War 1 meets bad ass steampunk and future-tech. Oh and zombie Germans (Nazi's?) These scenes are very fun and action oriented, blending in CGI with live action, in a way very similar to 300, or Immortals have.

Baby-doll, Blondie, Sweet Pea, Amber, Rocket.

Moving along to the characterization in the movie, the characters are split into 3 levels, as Baby-doll sees them. The real world and what they're like, which isn't barely touched, the brothel world where the most true to their personalities come to light, and the fantasy world where Baby-doll sees them in the most empowered way possible. Of the cast, I felt Baby-Doll, Sweet Pea, and rocket stood out most, in no way does that diminish Blondie's and Amber's value to the overall story. All these girls are dressed up in ways one would expect of a Brothel / Dance studio, and in the fantasy world, dress as one would often see girls dressed up in video games. The difference though from video games, where Baby-doll is dressed in her iconic Japanese school girl uniform, is that there's no camera angles that sexualizes the characters, by showing off their knockers, ass, or curves, often seen in movies and games these days.

If any of this has interested you, go watch the movie, period. This movie is very abstract and up for personal interpretation of what's going on, and reading or listening to any reviews analyzing it in advanced could alter what your interpretation is.

With analysis of what it is to be video-game esq, characters, and premise of Sucker Punch, that leaves the overall story of the movie, and how I personally interpreted the actions and consequences throughout the movie as it plays out into Baby-dolls head until the climax.

With Baby-doll taken to be lobotomized, the first shocker is revealed as the Doctor brings the hammer back to begin the lobotomy. As he begins to the procedure, it's suddenly stopped, as the girl in the seat protests to it and demands to be swiftly set free. It's no longer Baby-doll in the chair, but Sweetpea, and no longer are they in the surgeons room, but on a stage, with an all girl cast on the scene carrying out the play. Baby-doll is led into this room where she meets the cast, and a key figure, Dr. Gorski, who in her mind is the mentor, teacher, motherly figure in the scenario she conjured up of a brothel. I find it fascinating that Baby-doll chooses to conjure the image of a brothel for her time in the mental asylum, as that, and what's to come, was more favorable to think of than the true occurrences in the hospital, with being sold to a "high roller" rather than a lobotomy awaiting her after the 5 day period.

As the story begins we meet the first scene in the movie where Rocket, working in the kitchen, notices candy in the pantry, where she pockets it before being attacked by the cook. Pinning her, it's unsure whether or not the cook is merely trying to apprehend her, or actually attempting to physically assault her, but alas, the ordeal ends with Baby-doll coming to her rescue, apprehending the knife the cook kept in his belt.

Making their leave, Baby-doll quickly drops the knife and the head to their first dance lesson, where Gorski isn't pleased with Sweet Pea's performance. With Gorski's guidance, Baby-doll enters the stage where she begins her first "dance", quickly bringing her to her fantasy world for the first time, that of a snowy temple, and the first encounter with the unnamed wise-man.

With some prodding, Baby-doll reveals that she's looking for a way out, freedom. The wise man sends her out on her quest for five objects. A map, fire, a key, and a knife, the fifth item, unknown. Coincidentally enough, these 4 items are things Baby-doll noticed on her way into the mental institute in the first place.

With the wiseman giving out his wisdom, he sends Baby-doll out of his temple, but not before telling her to defend herself. Outside are 3 giant demonic samurai warriors, all literally 3-4 times her size. Coming u to her, the first warrior, she begins to draw her blade hesitantly, but not before being dealt a Sucker Punch by the samurai through the temple doors. Finally getting her momentum, baby-doll incapacitates the first Demon samurai before dealing the death blow, bringing the next Samurai to her.

Holding a fucking Gatling Gun. Awesome.

Baby-doll while hesitant at first, once she began defending herself, to fight, she toppled all 3 of the obstacles in her way, before snapping back into brothel reality, where everyone around her cheers. Reminder, she snapped into her fantasy reality when it came time for her to dance.

When in private, Baby-doll reveals her plan to escape. Rocket, the most eager one to escape, is put down quickly by Sweet Pea, but is unable to convince Rocket away from it. It is quickly established here Sweet Pea and Rocket are related. Baby-doll reveals her plan to get 4 items before the "High Roller" arrives in 3 days. A map to find the exits, a lighter to start a fire, a key to open the doors, and a knife to defend themselves if caught. Sweet Pea, still opposed, is convinced to join in with everyone else on board.

With the plan in motion, Sweet Pea gets Blue (the head of the Asylum and the brothel) to drop in Baby-dolls next dance, which gets him excitedly over while she captures map. Queue Pseudo WW1 involving enemy trenches, soldiers in gas masks,and zombie Germans.

Seriously, Steam Punk Zombie hoard + ww1 badassness. Also take note, this obviously takes place at a far more future timeline than the last fantasy did.

Back to the brothel, the dance really excited Blue, leading to the mayor to come, who always has a ligher as he's a chronic cigar smoker. Queue next fantasy, this time, Amber's turn. Amber is fearful, but makes go with the plan.

There be Dragons.

After Blue comes backstage, onto the girls planning something, Blondie is extremely shaken up. Breaking down, she goes to Gordski and betraying the girls.

The next dance brings Baby-doll into a future-tech world, where they attempt to defuse a bomb on a train before it reaches a city and explodes. This time against an android swarm! As the girls board the train, everything goes well, but then a moment of revelation comes as they believe they achieved victory. The bomb what was thought deactivated, becomes active, and Baby-doll is back to the brothel world. The cook who Baby-doll was distracting with her dance, notices Sweet Pea attempting to take a knife from him, and goes to stab Rocket.

Rocket's mortally wounded to protect Sweet Pea, but alas Blue comes in and makes the remaining girls go on Stage, where the "High Roller" is waiting. As the girls leave, Sweet Pea is locked up. As the girls prepare for the show, Blue comes in, knowing the girls plan. He guns down Amber and Blondie, leaving the grieving Gordski and Baby-doll, but not for long as he gets everyone to leave, but Baby-doll. He assaults Baby-doll, bringing her to stab him in the shoulder with the knife she managed to get away from the cook, and stealing the key from his neck. Four objects acquired.

Freeing Sweet Pea, the two make their escape, with the fire setting off the alarms, but then as they get outside one final reveal comes. the front gate is blocked by a crowd where Baby-doll realizes the final object, herself. Sacrificing herself to distract everyone, Sweet Pea escapes the Brothel. Snap back to reality, the Doctor hammers the nail into Baby-doll. The lobotomy was completed.

The Lobotomist inquires Gordski on some information on Baby-doll, revealing that in the week she's been there, she started a fire, stabbed a orderly, and helped another patient to escape.

This is where every viewer makes their own interpretation of the story of the movie. Myself, I wonder on the authenticity of the other girls. While we see Sweet Pea again at the end, never did we see the other girls or hear mention the deaths or occurences of the other girls. While many I hear believe perhaps Amber, Rocket and Blondie were first in line to face the lobotomy, I believe they never existed and were part of Sweet Pea and Baby-doll.

Characters: 8/10
All the characters, despite only a couple ever properly being named, are immediately recognizable for their personality. One wonders a lot about them, and their history, only Sweet Pea, Rocket, and Baby-doll getting background story. Despite this, I felt the way they showed off the girls actions, said more about their characters than any background story could.
Fun Factor: 9/10
I just adore the whole partial cgi fantasy world genre that 300 seems to have sparked the birth of. The action packed fantasy were all amazing, I especially adored the WW1 steampunk zombie Germans, followed by the face smacking future city. I would definitely watch this movie again and again for fun, something rare for me, as usually I cannot bring myself to watching the same movie or show twice.
Directing & Casting: 9/10
First off, amazing direction, great camera working. The girls while dressed in a generic "sexy" fashion, at no point did I feel the movie was trying to get the viewer off on it, as no angles aimed directly at an ass or rack was thrown in, despite the skimpy outfits the gorgeous girls would sometimes wear. At the same time the angles and pacing of the action scenes threw me away. In the end, my only complaint was Baby-doll, who I unfortunately, couldn't get over the wig she wore. I just wish they could of either casted someone with natural blond hair to style in such a way. Past a few nit picks here and there, top performance, and top directing.
Overall: 9/10
While there's a few things keeping this movie down, it filled my quota in everything I want from a movie. Something fun to watch and aesthetically pleasing, and catering to the higher mind, leaving hours of debate, discussion, and pondering to come after viewing the movie. Thankfully, it's not on inconsistency and plot holes, but on the metaphors, symbolism, and psychology of the movie. A true underrated piece and a must watch.

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